Watching Fifty Shades Darker With My Mom!
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Watching Fifty Shades Darker With My Mom!

What’s going on guys! Mother’s Day, it’s coming up And here at Screen Junkies we have a semi-annual Mother’s Day tradition Where I watch an inappropriate movie with my mother A movie you wouldn’t want to watch with your parents Ah, the previous ones: The Human Centipede Uh oh Fifty Shades of Grey Wow Exercise Room Um, you could call it that And today, to continue that tradition We have my mom Deborah Rudnick Mom, thanks for being here I’m very happy to be here, but I’m not very happy to watch an inappropriate I was hoping it would be more like a Disney film Well FYI this ain’t no Disney film We are gonna watch…the next installment of the Fifty Shades series Let’s embark on a journey into Fifty Shades Darker Well that’s a nice scene you see the world coming up That’s just the Universal Pictures logo Ha ha….oh she caught him looking Caught looking You ever get caught looking? That’s not my problem Yeah, I try, I take a peek once in a while You know I I I I definitely Once in a while? You kidding you hit on two women yesterday In front of your mother No strings attached That’s all it took for her to agree? He gave her a gift Yeah, whats… I thought he was bringing a pizza Oh it’s a bar around the corner You should come Have you ever heard the expression don’t s*** where you eat? Do you have to talk like that to me? That’s vulger Hal Sorry, don’t s*** where you work Is that better? As the clothes come off The soundtrack goes up Oh boy Oh my goodness Oh my god! And he leaves his pants half on? Yeah he didn’t even uh…he didn’t even have time to take his pants off And there we go Oh there they must have taken them off somewhere Kinky f***ery I don’t know what that is but I like the sound of it What was that phrase mom? I didn’t..catch that Kinky f***ery Oh kinky f*** kinky Yeah well he is kinky alright Well they keep the camera high at least That lipstick? Yes She’s playing connect the dots with his cigarette burns Oh that’s what that is Wouldn’t it be cool if like she connected all the dots and it turned out to be a picture of a giraffe? How am I supposed to wear those? Well You have to get them wet first Mom what is happening? I have no idea? Oh my god Mom can you tell the viewing public what just happened? Something crazy is happening here Oh he is smacking her Yup Oh gotta shut your ringer off mom I’m sorry Man Good thing we are not in the movie theatre Keep this part in This is a public service Kids Shut your phone and ringer Here is one thing I’m learning Fifty Shades Darker is a good movie to check your phone in Leave it on vibrate for the show Now we are back…surprised he leaves the door open to that Yeah That should be like you need a retinal scan to get in that room Do you know what a retinal scan is? Well….I don’t even want to think about that No, its…there’s nothing Oh the retinal, oh the eye The retinal scan That’s an eye scan yeah What did you think I was talking about? I’m not gonna….. Like the…like in the uh No no no no no Like in the rear end or something What’s this? Does he manufacture these things? No, I think he just buys them Just goes on Amazon and buys them Tying her up like Hannibal Lectre Maybe he’s gonna hang her From someplace Oh, may…oh! Special extender bar That’s not gonna be too good with arthritis Oh look at this! Wow! Oh my god What he do huh? Gave her a real twist Yeah He, used that thing like a steering wheel Aye aye aye Man he must have had a f***ed up childhood Ill kill him No no please don’t go don’t go don’t leave Please go in there Please go in there so we can get like the first…legit action of this movie Don’t, don’t go fight on my behalf, great! OH and they cut away without seeing that f***ing guy get his a** kicked Sorry mom for the language but Like I thought we were about to see some…like…one cool thing So her boss got fired and now she is….. She’s the head of the company She’s the head of the….. He bought her a company right Must be nice Fire the the lecherous a-hole But get someone who is qualified Well what does he care? He, he is so wealthy HE doesn’t care but I care Don’t get so upset Hal I’m very upset about….about the wellbeing of this publishing house This company is going to Hell in a hand basket And it’s all that god damn pompous billionaire Christian Grey’s fault And now she is taking her underwear off at the dinner table In the middle of a restaurant? Great! In the middle of a restaurant No Christian! This movie would have been a hundred times better if she had put a bullet in Christian Grey right there I get off on punishing women, women who look like you Like your mother What if I had that problem? Do you? I don’t know? Thankfully no! When were you going to tell me about your birthday? He asked her to marry him And she doesn’t even know when his birthday is! I feel like his beard just got thicker over the course of this scene It did Yeah That’s ridiculous He has a full beard! And the, and the scene before he had no beard Uh oh, Christian Grey is going down! And I don’t mean on Anastasia He’s landing it The perfect man make the perfect landing We’ll see Uh oh! “Sources tell us their helicopter…” What the hell are you all doing here? Great The most boring result Look he is fine He is looking into bondage She sure she wants to do this? Take that yes back and put a no Yeah she already signed the contract He’s tying her up now she’s gonna she the worst of the worst that’s what she’s getting herself into I guess so She has oil on her bosoms mother! He’s a licenced masseuse Uh…throw down! Marcia Gay Harden and Kim Basinger please exchange blows Nothing really happens in this movie No It’s like euh It’s just a series of random nonsense There is like a..threatening boss, he gets taken care of There’s his ex who’s kind of stalkery she gets taken care of He has a helicopter crash Everything’s fine It’s like inconsequential nonsense Wow! We introduced a conflict literally in the last minute of the movie To set up A third movie That no one wants How boring can you get That was Fifty Shades Darker What was your review of the movie mom? Boring! I have to agree Um It didn’t go anyplace It just like There was, there was no real action Even sexy scenes weren’t really sexy No the sex scenes weren’t that sexy Too much boredom before…I don’t know It just wasn’t realistic Here’s the thing Like…if you’re making this sexy movie and you’re not making me uncomfortable sitting here with my mom You’re doing something poorly We might end up watching the third one right here Uhhhhhhh no I think you better bring something more than popcorn I think a glass of vodka Happy Mothers Day Give me a hug Oh thank you sweetie I always love uh when you come here and uh…watch something weird with me and I love you Love you too sweetheart And thank you for watching Screen Junkies What awkward movie would you not want to watch with your mom or your dad Let us know in the comments section below we wanna know And I want to thank you again for watching I’m Hal Rudnick hit me up on Twitter Bye bye Mom say bye bye Bye…bye bye bye bye


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