Walking Dead Chappelle’s Show – SNL
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Walking Dead Chappelle’s Show – SNL


>>>YOU KNOW, ALL WEEK LONG
PEOPLE HAVE BEEN ASKING ME IF I WAS GOING TO DO ANY CHARACTERS
FROM “CHAPPELLE SHOW” TONIGHT. AT FIRST I WASN’T TO.
AND THEN I SAW THAT EPISODE OF “WALKING DEAD.”
WHERE THEY SMASHED THIS GUY GLEN ON THE HEAD AND KILLED HIM.
I KNOW, IT WAS DEVASTATING. I LOVE THAT SHOW WHEN GLEN WAS
LIKE ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS.
SO I WAS LIKE CRUSHED. SO — IN THAT SPIRIT AND WITH
THAT IN MIND, I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [ WHISTLING ]
>>HA HA HA! I JUST CANNOT DECIDE WHICH ONE
OF YOU IS GOING TO DANCE WITH DEATH TONIGHT.
HA HA! WELL.
I GOT AN IDEA. BUBBLE GUM.
BUBBLE GUM. IN A DISH.
HOW MANY PIECES DO YOU WISH?>>BUBBLE GUM.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I’D LIKE TWO, PLEASE.
MY MOUTH FEELS DRY.>>OH, HE’S A FEISTY ONE.
I LIKE THAT.>>WELL, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,
MR. NEGAN, IN MY LINE OF WORK WHEN YOU’RE ON YOUR KNEES, DON’T
GIVE YOU BUBBLE GUM, THEY GIVE YOU PENIS.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>SHUT UP!
WELL. A N — NAMED NEGAN.
YOU LOOK MORE LIKE A STEPHANIE. YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE — THE
NEGRO LEAGUE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>STOP IT, YOU’RE KILLING HIM!>>THEM SOME UGLY ASS BOOTS YOU
GOT ON THERE. AS THE WHITE BOYS SAY ON THE
INTERNETS, WHAT ARE THOSE? [ LAUGHTER ]
>>DRY, BRITTLE JERRY CURL, DISGRACE.
HA HA HA! LOOK AT THIS PASTY BASTARD.
>>OH GOD, NO. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>GOOD GOD HAVE SOME GOD DAMN RESPECT FOR YOURSELF.
MAN, THE [ BLEEP ] UP!>>WHAT DO YOU WANT, MONEY?
SEX?>>SEX ISN’T EVERYTHING.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>I’LL TRY SOME SEX.
>>I HAVE A WIFE!>>WHAT?
[ LAUGHTER ]>>I HAVE A WIFE!
>>WHAT?>>I HAVE A WIFE.
>>OKAY! [ LAUGHTER ]
COME ON, THEN. ALL LIVES MATTER.
ALL OF US RIGHT?>>NO, YOUR BLACK LIVES DON’T.
>>KILL US FOR WHAT?>>WELL, WELL, WELL.
I KNOW THAT SMELL ANYWHERE. FRUSTRATION AND COCOA BUTTER.
LOOKS LIKE WE GOT US SOME NEGRO MONSTERS.
PUT THAT BACK DOWN, MONKEY.>>MONKEY?
DON’T YOU REALIZE YOU’RE BLACK?>>FROM WHAT I HEAR, THIS HAT
WOULD SAY OTHERWISE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>IT’S UP TO AMERICA NOW, BOY.>>IT SURE IS.
>>WELL, I STAND CORRECTED. SEEMS LIKE A LOT OF YOU STILL
GOT SOME FIGHT IN YOU. THAT’S GOOD.
I LIKE THAT. MAKES IT MORE FUN.
YOU CAN BREATHE. YOU CAN BLINK.
YOU CAN CRY.>>OH!
>>YEAH. A LOT OF YOU ARE GOING TO BE
DOING SOME OF THAT.>>THANKS.
>>OH!>>WOW!
>>THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME! [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>>TAKE IT LIKE A CHAMP! COME HERE, YOU!
>>STRIKE ONE.>>YEAH.
>>STRIKE TWO.>>ARRGH!
>>GOT TO BE FASTER THAN THAT. [ LAUGHTER ]
MARTY, HELP ME OUT! ♪♪♪
>>NOTE TO SELF. REMIND ME TO TRY CRACK.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>WE AS A NATION BEGIN TO HEAL,
THROUGH LAUGHING TOGETHER. FOR EVEN THOUGH OUR COUNTRY
SEEMS IRREVOCABLY SEVERED LIKE A MAN FROM HIS HEAD, LET MY
EXAMPLE PROVE THAT WE SHOULD CONTINUE TO MOVE FORWARD.
LET US SEE OURSELVES IN ONE ANOTHER.
FOR ONLY EVERYTHING CAN CONQUER HATE.
I AM EVERY MAN. I AM EVERY WOMAN.
IT’S ALL IN ME. ANYTHING YOU WANT DONE, BABY, I
DO IT NATURALLY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>NOW LET’S BREAK OUT, Y’ALL. I ONLY GOT TWO MONTHS UNTIL THEY
TAKE AWAY MY HEALTH CARE. BODY, IF YOU WILL?
♪♪♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

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