These Are The Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist
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These Are The Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist


are you dating in a total jerk? well, if you are you might be dating a narcissist I am here to tell you how to spot a signs of a narcissism is a Dr. Ramani. Dr. Ramani thanks for being here to talk with us about dating a narcissist My pleasure, thank you my favorite kind of topic. Why is this your favorite kind of topic? You know what is it It’s a curiosity to me. I started working with a lot of clients who were i hate the word ,,victimize” but who really hurts by this relationship and I saw a pattern and I though wow we got to help this people but in a systematic way so not only did i really get to helping them but it all culminated in a book that was meant to help everyone who is struggling with this issues but it was remarkable to me to look in a narcissistic relationship and essence it’s like looking into the mirror and nothing is looking back at you. U, good metaphor. Am ,,Should I stay or should I go” is your book about narcissism. What is, or what define someone to be a narcissist? A narcissist is, lets talk about in terms of sort of the key or kinds of pillow it’s a person who lacks empathy who is really entitled, meaning that they expect special treatment to be giving to them but nobody else They are very grandiose they harbor a huge of fantasy they only want to affiliate with people they think as cool or as interesting as they are. They are very superficial. They are very concern about their appearance and the appearance of the people around them. I’ve always thinks of them as beautiful facade with not a lot behind them. They don’t regulate their emotions very well They are very prone to thrown a tantrums, getting angry very quickly, specialy if they dont get their way and they can be really hipper sensitive to criticism So those are some of the key elements we see in a person who is narcissistic. And just because someone has one or even maybe a two of those does it make them a narcissists. In fact in my book I have 30 characteristics so we can go all the way. So then how many would I have to have to be a narcissist. I would say that six I gave you I expect to see all the six really to call someone a narcissistic and the longer list for example they tend to be jealous, they engage in something called ,,Gaslighting” where they literary doubt your own reality leaving you feeling like you are gone crazy they don’t tend to be very loyal, they do tend of throw temper tantrums, they get pleasure out of misery in other people. They are kind of mean – Lets explain Gaslighting a little more. What is that look like? Gaslighting looks like literary like I said when somebody kinds of denies your reality, so you might say something like I feel really sad that you really say that to me, and they said something like you have not rights to say that you have no rights to feel that way or they say something you are having an argument with them and they will had said something terrible to you couple of days before and you say, Listen when you said that, they will say I’ve never said that and so it’s literary like they denies your reality and when somebody says I never said that most normal people tend to question of themselves – Mmm.. And so, in fact I’ve always say one of the ringers that you’re in a relationship with the narcissist who is gaslighting you is you started to feeling the need to voice record your conversation with them so you can play it back to them,I always say when you feel like you need a voice memo in your relationship it maybe time to get out -Ok. I have been in a relationship where I thought I am gonna record our next conversation because You are just not believing that what has been said has been said. Gaslighting. Wow. But that not necessarily mean that that person was a narcissist. No that can be a lot of parts. But yeah but it could be a key indicator Yeah this is hard for a lot of people I feel like because we do in our society throw around that term all the time You know You get mad at somebody and say..well they’re being narcisist well, they want to have dinner at eight, they are narcisista, no they just want to have dinner at eight,you know…-right. so this type of factors really help people narrow it in when they’re narcisists i’m really curios on… when two narcisists date each other in your practice, you’re a clinical psichologist you talk always people what is that relationship look like? it’s basically a psichological cage fight i mean obvously..- ahahahahahha i souldn’t have been laughing, because it affects lot of people i know it’s fascinating because what ends up happening is nobody’s empathic, nobody’s listening, and they’re not playing with each other they’re kind of playing by themselves everything actually goes well for a while because they really care that the other one looks good so they can deliver on that- they only care that the other one looks good ..because it makes them look good this… this is like the guy “i need a hot girlfriend” you know .. it’s that kind of a modelo of …like.. i need to look good, my partner makes me look good so, it’s a sort of .. almost is larger than life kind of… almost toopretty couples that you sometimes…make you wonder what is a …. looking so good? don’t… don’t we want a partner who makes us look good? no. we want a partner who makes us feel good. -mmm there’s a difference. – there’s a big difference so i think that what ends up happening is that when the first time one person made up two narcisists togheter frustrates the other then it all breaks lose so it gets to be .. when the fireworks go they go.. big.in this kind of relationships i always say let the narcisists al cobreed then we kind of … get them out of normal dating supplies just don’t reproduce ok so… you have this two narcisists that are dating toghether.-right. – have you ever seen a couple each of them were a narcisist and they both admit it that they were both a narcisist.-absolutely did those relationships succeed?- no. no i’ll tell you what happens is that there’s… a point wich, i will tell you, there’s a number of people i work with who have admitted straight up “i’m a narcisist”i know it and now i can see how is affecting …usually it would be kids… or family relationships or their intimate relationships and they wanna do the work but they don’t recognize having almost childlike

100 Comments

  • lightThatcherry

    My sister is 3 years older than me. She has sworn to make my brother's, my sister in law, my parents and my life hell. Her narcissistic behavior is obvious as she does hold herself above everyone in terms of beauty and smartness. She is not smart whatsoever and is highly dependent on my parents and I. She is ungrateful for everything we do for her, uses degrading words like how i am just here to be used like a dog. Ever since my brother has gotten married her behavior has gotten even worse and now she verbally abuses my parents and me daily and tells them to have their property transferred to her name. She threatens us with murder. Has held knives and other potential weapons like pipes and wrenches at my parents. Has even gotten in physical fights with me where she has tried to claw me and hit me and i had to push her off and when i did so, she started to scream and fake being inured. She has also thrown stuff at my father and clawed my mother on her forearm recently. She has done so much that we are all mentally drained now and end up raising our voices too. If we go to our room and lock our door she stays outside the door bangs on it while still carrying on with the verbal abuse threats. My mother suffers from illnesses like Blood Pressure, high Cholesterol levels and uric acid. Whenever she stresses out my mother, it effects her health and that is when she puts more pressure on her and tells her good she is gonna die soon. Not a single day passes now where my parents and i don't have to deal with this. My parents reject the idea of having her admitted to a mental asylum as they abide by this dumb social construct of how our status and respect will be effected in society if we send her away to an asylum and then no one is gonna marry her. Lastly they also can't afford a mental asylum since Asylums in Pakistan charge you over 1000$ monthly. She also rejects visiting psychiatrists and therapy sessions. I really don't know what to do or how to deal with this.

  • Krasy Nova

    I have recently work for a narcisstic person. I have never met a narcissist before and never have to deal with them. So not long after, a month or so, no actually later than that, because in the beginning he was nice, but after the 2d month I felt something is wrong with the person and then I felt something is wrong with me, cos he was always says to me how i made mistake, I'm wrong and, yeah, being mean to me. It was emocinally hard for me. I have never had any issues with precious employers or colleagues. But then I stared to share my experience with family and friends and start reading and figured out that this person is narcissist.
    And YES! The recording thing is sooo much true. I especially downloaded a recording app to do that. I could only record 2 times and it wasn't something incriminating, but most of the time when there was something important and i could take him to court about those stuff, I didnt have the opportunity to put the recorder, because this kind of conversation would start suddenly and I would be scared, while he is talking to me, to turn the recorder on 😅 I am laughing now, but i felt pretty scared and confused. It was an emotional harassment nearly every single day. It was hard, especially when u need the job, but eventually, as the other people before me, I did quit. I wasn't good, I couldn't sleep, I woke up in the middle of the night and I was worried, I was also snapping a lot, because of the stess. One morning I vomited few times on the bus stop, on my way to work, because I was so stressed and didn't want to go to work.

    The sadest thing for me, when I am hearing this doctor saying is that those people can not change. I didn't know that. It is super super saddening… and scary as well.
    But as a christian I believe only God can help those people.

  • Zurie Rosales

    The sad reality slapped me too hard when she starts describing a narcissist, she accurately pointed out my own mom, I feel so empty inside cause my mom only values me when she wants to brag about me as her daughter, but when the door shuts, im like a dust in the air… Time passes by I keep on meditating and I noticed something weird about my behavior too, I tend to change my persona from a normal person to a sociopath/psychopath, due to the fact that my father is a psychopath who's an abuser and my mom is a narcissist… Guess what? A broken child… But you know, my emotions are all drained and my empathy starts to fade…

  • Pretty Cosmos

    Wow thank you for sharing i learn something that i never knew maybe thats why in the past, men where very abusive to women things are a bit better thanks to informations like this thank you very much great prosperity your way¡

  • Dan Hanrahan

    It is uncanny how much the doctor's description seem to apply to Trump. It was almost like a portrait in words of the president.

  • Manda Piee

    So unsure if my ex is a narcs, he said he was around the time we started seeing eachother and I didnt believe him. I mean a narcs wouldnt say that right?

  • Liz Liz

    Im crying watching this. Im still at my "do i stay or do i leave path".. if i stay – then manage my expectations..engage in conversations like do you like the chicpeas? Which is already what im currently doing nowadays in my grey rock since im still with him, to prevent going into conversation that will lead my husband to invalidate me insult me. Thats no way to live. This empty. Its heartbreaking. And doc is right. It is heartbreaking on a daily basis

  • Amanda Ebbesen

    My father and my mother both have NPD. And I firmly believe I never should have been born. Thankfully, I turned out extremely sensitive and empathetic towards other peoples feelings and needs. That being said, I'm in therapy trying to heal from all of the damage they did to me so I can break the cycle, and one day, be the best damn mother to my future children! That thought alone gives me hope.

  • Kiki

    Thank you for this video, it is at this point that I realize I’ve been raised by a narcissist. 😔 so many of these points I’ve witnessed first hand. The not being emotionally present while only praising achievements. Yelling at a bank teller, or throwing a tantrum with an unmet expectation. Being highly critical but disliking being criticized. That bit about only having certain “safe” topics to discuss. Where Dr. Ramani talked about Narcissists being like an elastic band really makes sense as to why I’ll see some improvement but a stressor easily makes them return.

    I really don’t want to continue that cycle of dating a narcissist that she mentioned at the end. I’ll try to be mindful.

  • Carol Ignacia

    Wow so I actually was dating a narcissist…he said the physiologist told him he had sociopath traits but what she's saying in this vid describes him completely…

  • Gina Taylor

    "You start feeling the need to start voice recording your conversations with them" I've had therapists and doctors make me feel that way, even when I've had other people there with me to confirm I heard them correctly. It's like they'd rather be sued than be called out.

  • bookmouse770

    My X was a Narc…I didn't know about any of this until 25 years after I left him. Concert pianist wannabe…temper tantrums, shaming, mental abuse….I thought I was going crazy, he told me I was crazy, he tried to convince everyone around us that I was crazy.

  • Candace

    The recording part.
    I always felt crazy for wanting to record but I always felt like my reality never existed, even though I knew what was going on was happening. I really wish I could meet with this doctor, she is so incredibly spot on.

  • Hani Zakaria

    "Once you feel the need to record your conversation, then that other person is a narcissist". OMG! That has hit me hard

  • swimgirl24

    My cousin is a narcissist and he’s hurt me a lot over the years. Took me awhile to figure out what was going on. His parents are very about the white picket fence, pretending everything is perfect and that they’re better than everyone else. They also say means things with a smile or disguised as a compliment. Very much keeping up with the Jones’ even with family members and especially with me since I’m the cousin closest in age. So now watching this, I feel like I really understand this better. :/

  • Erica smith

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  • Denise Hasher

    This is so precise. I went to therapy for PTSD after I left and it was ugly. His ego couldn't take it. He had to make me the villain and him the victim. Lied to everyone and tried to destroy me. I had to move away to feel safe. I knew he'd retaliate so it took me forever to get the courage to leave. It was hard but the best decision ever. Thank God I didn't marry him. Get out! You can't change them and they are soul-sucking parasites. Change yourself.

  • Jane Hilton

    I agree with what this professional says
    But… I refuse to take the blame for my grown sons horrible behavior towards me now!! His dad and I divorced when he was very young. His dad was always in his life who by the way is such a jerk
    and why I left him. His stepfather was a wonderful man who my son had a good relationship with . I tried all through my sons young life to get him help which he refused . After 35 years I finally know how to deal with him though.
    As a child he was a pouter when he did not get his way. Ruined family vacations… etc. I’m sorry he has low self esteem but I do not know what I could have done differently.. oh well… I just pray now for his second wife . Maybe she can deal with him . I’m certainly not perfect … but I didn’t create that monster

  • Wilma Snider

    Can you be mistaken as schizophrenic but actually a narcissist? The reason I ask this is my bf shows some of the narcissistic traits. Is there such a thing as a narcissist schizophrenic?

  • 5D By Ruben Landon Dante

    Want to fix A Narc? Bridge the inner child's needs with the exterior role they have created, so long as they can acknowledge they inner child is broken, you can take steps together to heal that However I do not encourage anyone try unless you have some Divine ability and you know that you know that you know its in your calling to help and you have the mental real estate and full cup of your own to do it and do not get married to the outcome. Through the death of the ego shadow is the resurrection of the authentic inner child that wants to be liberated.

  • Zarasha1

    I didn't have any parents available but I came out a very loving and compassionate person. I think of people's feelings before I speak. The Bible says some people are just born evil, and that's narcissistic people. They are born pure evil.

  • Martine Fortin

    The part where she mentions having a great friendship circle, community work, classes on topics you enjoy is very imperative! Be prepared to walk out and already have a solid foundation.

  • David Anderson

    I love all Dr. Ramani's videos. I write about psychology for various sites and magazines. Do you think her description of a narcissist reminds you of anybody you might know or have voted for to be president of the US? Like…. personality trait for personality trait EVERY. SINGLE. DAY? Just sayin' D.A., J.D. NYC

  • Anilor Zenni

    My ex was this and a diagnosed psychopath. This gave me closure I always felt I wasn't enough. It's taken a year and continuing months to realize I am enough and too good to have been treated poorly. Now I'm happily married to a mentally and emotionally stable loving amazing husband.

  • Elisa Mastromarino

    I love this doctor so much. I wish I could ask her about a dozen questions. Better buy her book… 👍❤

  • Bianca Marie

    The sad part about this is there’s nothing I can do to escape anything. I have a daughter with him now, I’ve been with him nearly 5 years. He doesn’t seem he cares for her, he lacks any sympathy for anyone during my pregnancy I was treated horribly. Still to this day I go through it mentally idk what to do sometimes

  • hh love

    Omg! i just broke up with a nars who i dated for 2 months, and i always think its my problem. Wow, this is eye opening, and i am glad i only had 2 months in the hell, god bless those who are still dating ond or spent a long time with a nars. My blessing all goes to u!

  • breakingben 95

    This whole thing got me scared. I hope im not a narcissist, I really do want to be a good persion, i just dont want to be a push over eather. Sometimes I feel like i have to be one or the other or people will just take advantage of me in my work place specifically. My social life is very small so dont think it applies there… hmm now im confused.. 🤦‍♂️

  • Yulia L.

    Speech is free, so I can respect that.

    On the other hand, videos like this discourage me from talking to an expert, because they would sometimes laugh about narcissists and make fun of their behaviour.

    So I'll rather figure things out for myself by myself.
    (I have no diagnose, so I don't actually know what condition I might be carrying with me.)

  • Shay Profit

    I have a brother who is a narcissist, and I stay away. Our dad was one too.. My expectations for him are he WILL be CRUEL!!

  • Michael Hernandez

    The person conducting the interview sucks so bad he makes it hard to watch a full interview please replace him

  • Matt's guitars

    I was dating this girl who has BPD or narcissism. She was so jealous of my facebook oddly enough. She was jealous of the amount of friends I had in the likes I got. She tried to bring me down but it didn't work it's a shame because I loved her

  • Camiel Stoop

    Very good interview. A host who doesn’t interrupt, and a person who knows what she’s talking about. Love it!

  • Nadia R

    Narcisists can change their behavior for the right person although its rare, but their relationships will always lack something emotionally. they just lack something that can't be learned, even if they learn to fake it for others it still won't be genuine. like respect and empathy

  • Silent Lyrics

    All women are narcissistic , the degree of their narcessim depends on their looks and the value of their partners . The more she looks hotter and her man lower value . She is gonna be more narcissistic .

  • Erika Perez

    I am with a narcistic man. And what I do, I learned to keep the conversations short and continue to have my family and good friends around regardless what he wants me too do.
    If he leaves he leaves if he stays he stays… But I learned not to give him much attention when he is acting very narcistic.

  • shaa141

    My father is narcist but good hardworking business man took care of my family but I used to be great humanitarian after entering into family business I am loosing empathy towards people's only caring about profits but I love my family can I have better relationship today whole community respected me after successful but before they used to treat me like useless

  • Hummingjet

    What if your Child is a narcissist? I know that children who are in puberty have narcissistic tendencies, but what if that was always the case?

  • Charissa C.

    I feel like the interviewer doesn’t add anything to the video. His reaction and facial expressions just don’t seem sincere and his questions are stupid. He irritates me. She is absolutely great, she should do more of these videos alone.

  • Meow

    I feel sooo uncomfortable watching this interviewer! Really! It's a shame, cause I want to listen to the doctor, but the interviewer is very annoying even his fake reactions!!

  • lil potato

    Yeah I'm trying to break up with the guy I'm with cuz yeah..very abusive and that and he has all these issues..i already have PTSD from childhood and DID so it's not good plus I'm always sick cuz of my syndrome cyclic vomiting syndrome also know as CVS so my health would always cause issues mental and physical so if I did something wrong..id get upset and tell him them he'd flip out and say how bad of a person I am that I should die and that or he'd hurt me and just make me feel crazy like I've always kinda been abused or sexually abused my whole life so I saw this as normal till I wasn't allowed to be around friends for family or cut my hair or wear makeup or jewelry and had to dress how he liked not what I liked..so it was difficult and my psychologist said I developed Stalkhoml syndrome from this and my PTSD and other issues just made it worse plus it was scary when he got mad..just think I'm 4" 11 he's 6" 5..

  • Matt Karl

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  • Taylor Frederick

    It really hit home when she said that people who grow up with narcissistic parents tend to end up with a narcissistic partner… wow

  • Sharon H

    WHO ELSE WATCHIN THIS WITH SUBTITLES ON?😂😂 DONT JUDGE ME😂💁 I HEAR HER CLEARLY, I JUST LIKE SEEING THE SUBTITLES😂😂

  • Lori Brignac

    In 2013 I began working as an advocate in a Domestic Violence Program. I knew I could use my personal experiences to help others or write a novel…LOL Daily, I see the effects of the abuse that the abusers inflict on survivors and the children involved. Over the years I have attended many educational seminars and have not come across any on the psyche and traits of these disorders that were explained with such articulation and distinction. Thank you so much for these videos, they and the information they provide will be a huge asset for advocates working to help survivors understand the answers to so many of their questions. And, I absolutely LOVE what you said about how people, especially victims spend 80% of their energy on the unhealthy people/relationships in their lives (or even out of their lives) and only 20% on the healthy people/relationships. I love it so much I am going to make signage or a poster for my office!! : )

  • Tammy Goulet Schrader

    Classic is they come off as a really nice person but they always play the victim or what people to deal sorry for them or pity them. They take no accountability for what they did to cause a relationship or marriage to end

  • Tammy Goulet Schrader

    I was blamed for breaking up a relationship that my soon to be ex spouse could have had but to he himself messed it up. I was friends with this man first and often went to him for advice about other men. He was sweet and charming. We became friends with benefits which was really ugly. He made the rule that if either one of us wanted to be with someone else that we would tell the other. Well he was sleeping with me and the other woman asked him about us and he lied to her and said that we were just friends. I confronted him and he denies being with her I confronted her and it was a whole other story. In his eyes he did nothing wrong to me because we were not in a relationship just fuck buddies but to me being secretive and dishonest is the same as lying. He broke a trust and I have never been able to trust him even in our marriage. Something happened between my husband and son and even after all of that I still tried to save our marriage even though we were separated and he went on a dating site to have someone in the wings in case things didn't work out between us

  • Elza Ocean

    I'm a narcissist… And yeah, it brings discomfort here and there but I genuinely don't care about people, doesn't matter how ,much sometimes i try

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