The Most Powerful Man in Dildo
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The Most Powerful Man in Dildo


AS YOU MAY KNOW I AM CURRENTLY RUNNING FOR OFFICE. LAST NIGHT I ANNOUNCED MY, I THINK IT’S FAIR TO SAY, HISTORIC CANDIDACY TO BE MAYOR OF DILDO IN NEWFOUNDLAND. THIS IS BIG FOR ME, [ APPLAUSE ] WHILE OBVIOUSLY, MY HIGH SCHOOL YEARBOOK, I WAS VOTED TO BE MOST LIKELY TO BE MAYOR OF DILDO. MY CAMPAIGN IS GOING WELL, THERE IS ONE PROBLEM. THEY’RE SAYING IN ORDER TO BE MAYOR I HAVE TO BE A RESIDENT, WHICH SEEMS A LITTLE BIT UNFAIR, WHILE I HAVE EVERY INTENTION OF MOVING TO DILDO PERMANENTLY, SOME OF THE LOCALS ARE SKEPTICAL.>>LOCALS STILL AREN’T CONVINCED THAT KIMMEL WILL COME TO DILDO TO STAY.>>I DON’T THINK SO. I DON’T THINK MR. KIMMEL WILL COME HERE.>>HE’S NOT JUST COMING, HE’S MOVING. WE ALL KNOW HE’S JOKING. I’M SURE HE’S NOT GOING TO LEAVE L.A. AND COME TO DILDO.>>NO, NEVER, THERE’S TOO MANY SMART PEOPLE HERE.>>NOT EVERYONE IS SO SKEPTICAL.>>DO YOU THINK HE’LL COME HERE?>>I’D IMAGINE, I’D IMAGINE SO.>>Jimmy: THAT’S RIGHT, AND WHEN I DO GET THERE, GUESS LOWHO’S GOING TO BE MY BEST FRIEND? BRENT, THAT’S RIGHT. WE’LL DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER. OH, WE’LL GO SKATEBOARDING. YOU NAME IT. LAST NIGHT WE DID SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL FOR DILDO HERE IN HOLLYWOOD. WE NAMED THEM OUR SISTER CITY. GAR B GUILLERMO GOT UP ON A LADDER AND ILLEGALLY INSTALLED THEIR NAME ON A SIGN. THIS IS FROM THE LOCAL NEWS, MY FELLOW DILDODIANS RETURNED THE FAVOR.>>IT WAS PRETTY INSPIRATIONAL WHEN JIMMY KIMMEL UNVEILED DILDO AS HOLLYWOOD’S TWIN CITY. SO WE HAVE A LITTLE SURPRISE OF OUR OWN. WOULD YOU DO THE HONORS?>>YES. ♪ ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THERE YOU HAVE IT, HOLLYWOOD, DILDO’S SISTER CITY.>>Jimmy: I THINK THAT’S GREAT. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] WE HAVE A SISTER CITY. AND JUST THINK, ONE DAY MY GRANDCHILDREN WILL BE ABLE TO

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