• Jimmy Kimmel on Mueller Testimony
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    Jimmy Kimmel on Mueller Testimony

    THANK YOU FOR COMING. AND THANKS FOR JOINING US FOR WHAT IS, WILL BE OUR AFTER THE SPECIAL COUNSEL SPECIAL TONIGHT. ROBERT MUELLER TESTIFIED FOR LIKE 25 HOURS TODAY. THIS WAS A MAJOR EVENT IN WASHINGTON. BARS IN WASHINGTON, D.C. OPENED VERY EARLY TODAY TO HOST VIEWING PARTIES. THEY STARTED AT 8:30 A.M. I KNOW THIS IS INTERESTING, BUT IF YOU’RE WATCHING A HEARING AT A BAR AT 8:30, YOU’RE PROBABLY AN ALCOHOLIC IS WHAT’S GOING ON. IS WHA I WAS UP EARLY THIS MORNING WATCHING WITH MY KIDS. THEY NEEDED A BREAK FROM “PAW PATROL.” I ASKED MY 4-YEAR-OLD, AND SHE SAID IT WAS OUTSIDE HER PURVIEW AND REFERRED…

  • Words You Can’t Call Trump
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    Words You Can’t Call Trump

    THAT AFTER THE SHOW.>>ALL RIGHT.>>Jimmy: PRESIDENT TRUMP KICKED OFF HIS 2020 COMEDY TOUR LAST NIGHT IN ORLANDO. HE HAD A CAMPAIGN RALLY. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] AT THE AMWAY CENTER. THERE WERE MORE RED HATS AND DIRTY BEARDS THAN AT AN UNSANCTIONED SANTA CONVENTION. THE STADIUM CROWD HAD A CAPACITY OF 20,000, WHICH TRUMP CALLS IT A MILLION. IT WAS FULL. MANY WERE SAYING THE ATMOSPHERE WAS LIKE A MUSIC FESTIVAL. AND IT WAS LIKE A MUSIC FESTIVAL, SPECIFICALLY THE FYRE FESTIVAL. ELVIS PUT ON QUITE A SHOW. TRUMP WAS ON FIRE, AT LEAST HIS PANTS WERE. HE JUMPED FROM LIE TO LIE, HOT TOPIC TO HOT TOPIC LIKE JOY BEHAR…