• Walking Dead Chappelle’s Show – SNL
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    Walking Dead Chappelle’s Show – SNL

    >>>YOU KNOW, ALL WEEK LONG PEOPLE HAVE BEEN ASKING ME IF I WAS GOING TO DO ANY CHARACTERS FROM “CHAPPELLE SHOW” TONIGHT. AT FIRST I WASN’T TO. AND THEN I SAW THAT EPISODE OF “WALKING DEAD.” WHERE THEY SMASHED THIS GUY GLEN ON THE HEAD AND KILLED HIM. I KNOW, IT WAS DEVASTATING. I LOVE THAT SHOW WHEN GLEN WAS LIKE ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS. SO I WAS LIKE CRUSHED. SO — IN THAT SPIRIT AND WITH THAT IN MIND, I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [ WHISTLING ] >>HA HA HA! I JUST CANNOT DECIDE WHICH ONE OF YOU IS GOING TO DANCE WITH…

  • Totino’s with Kristen Stewart – SNL
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    Totino’s with Kristen Stewart – SNL

    >>GO, GO, GO, TOUCHDOWN! >>IS EVERYONE ENJOYING THE BIG GAME? >>COME ON BABE, DON’T ACT LIKE YOU KNOW SPORTS. >>MY HUSBAND’S RIGHT. WHEN IT COMES TO THE BIG GAME, THERE’S ONLY ONE THING I KNOW ABOUT. FEEDING MY HUNGRY GUYS.>>NO! OH, FUMBLE!>>AND THIS YEAR’S GAME IS BIGGER THAN EVER. WHICH MEANS I’LL BE FEEDING THEM MORE TOTINOS THAN EVER.>>BABE, NEED MORE TOTINOS, DAVE JUST GOT HERE.>>NOT A PROBLEM. BECAUSE THIS YEAR I’VE GOT THE NEW TOTINO TOTINO TWO-PACK. IT’S TWICE THE TOTINO FOR TWICE THE HUNGRY GUYS. >>ENOUGH YAPPING, WE NEED THE TOTINOS. TED’S HERE TOO, AND HE BROUGHT HIS SISTER. >>GREAT, MORE HANDS TO HELP ME MAKE DELICIOUS TOTINOS…

  • Michael Che Wants to Plan Something Dirty for Colin Jost’s Bachelor Party
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    Michael Che Wants to Plan Something Dirty for Colin Jost’s Bachelor Party

    -I know “Saturday Night Live” is happening this Saturday. You’re probably going, “Why are we doing this show? We got work to do.” Thank you for being here. -This gets us out of doing the work. -Oh, good. Oh, yeah. You got Woody Harrelson and Billie Eilish. That’s a great show. -They always travel together. -They really do. That’s big news. I mean, the season premiere. I remember I was always kind of excited and nervous about, like, what’s gonna happen? What new things we got cooked up and all that stuff. -Yeah, that’s always the scariest thing. Woody has already there like a few seasons ago. He was so…

  • 12 Dumbest Internet Domain Names Ever
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    12 Dumbest Internet Domain Names Ever

    From stalking teachers to masturbating ferrets, we count 12 unintentionally hilarious and inappropriate domain names. 12. Penisland.net It’s not unusual for anything to be customized, whether it be someone’s name sewn on a jacket or a business’s name on a coffee mug. Pens can also be added to that list. There’s even a website that prides itself as being the only place to buy customized pens. All prospective customers need to do is go to penisland.net. No, no, it’s not what you think… the name is supposed to read “pen island”. The least they could’ve done was put an underscore or a dash between ‘pen’ and ‘island’. The description on…

  • Seth Meyers’ Monologue at the 2018 Golden Globes
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    Seth Meyers’ Monologue at the 2018 Golden Globes

    -Good evening, ladies and remaining gentlemen. [ Laughter ] I’m Seth Meyers, and I’ll be your host tonight. Welcome to the 75th annual Golden Globes, and Happy New Year, Hollywood. [ Cheers and applause ] It’s 2018. Marijuana is finally allowed, and sexual harassment finally isn’t. [ Laughter, cheers, applause ] It’s gonna be a good year! [ Cheers and applause continues ] This was the year of big little lies and “get out” and also the television series “Big Little Lies” and the movie “Get Out.” [ Laughter ] There’s a new era under way, and I can tell, because it’s been years since a white man was this…

  • The Trumps Go On A Royal Field Trip
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    The Trumps Go On A Royal Field Trip

    WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT, AND I’VE GOT TO SAY IT’S GOOD TO BE BACK. WE WERE ON BREAK LAST WEEK. I HAD A MARVELOUS TIME, FROM WHAT I REMEMBER. ( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF ) THE PRESIDENT HAS FLED THE COUNTRY. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) KNOWING WE WERE BACK ON THE AIR! HE’S ON THE SECOND LEG OF A FOUR-NATION TOUR WE’RE CALLING — >>WHY IN THE WORLD IS DONALD TRUMP. ( LAUGHTER ) >>Stephen: AT THIS VERY MOMENT, DONALD TRUMP IS IN LONDON ON AN OFFICIAL STATE VISIT, AND TODAY WAS FULL OF ROYAL MIXERS, INCLUDING THIS AFTERNOON,…

  • Election Night – SNL
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    Election Night – SNL

    ♪♪♪ >>>THIS IS “ELECTION NIGHT IN AMERICA.” >>I CAN’T BELIEVE AFTER ALL THIS IT’S GOING TO FINALLY BE OVER.>>I DON’T KNOW, WE’LL SEE. TRUMP’S ALREADY GOT LAWYERS TO FIGHT THE RESULTS. >>YEAH, DON’T EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT OR I WILL LEAVE. >>GUYS. WE’RE ABOUT TO HAVE OUR FIRST WOMAN PRESIDENT. LIKE THIS IS GOING TO BE A HISTORIC NIGHT.>>YEAH, YEAH. IT MIGHT AN HISTORIC NIGHT. BUT DON’T FORGET IT’S A BIG COUNTRY.>>MY FRIEND AT “THE HUFFINGTON POST” SAYS SHE WIN BUSY 5 POINTS. >>I DON’T KNOW, MY FRIEND AT SLATE SAYS SHE’LL WIN BY 3. >>OH, WELL, SHE’LL WIN THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE FOR SURE BUT I GUESS THERE’S A NIGHTMARE…

  • Michael Che and Colin Jost Reveal the Absurd Gifts They Give Each Other
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    Michael Che and Colin Jost Reveal the Absurd Gifts They Give Each Other

    -We wanted to play a game, so we could get to know you guys a little bit more if we don’t know you guys. This is a game called “Most Likely To,” okay? -All right. -So check this out. This is all you need is this thing. -Okay. -There you go. Now here you go. I will name some things, and you will point at who is most likely to…blank, okay? -Okay. -Here we go. First one — who is more likely to Google their name? [ Laughter ] Really? -Oh, I love to Google my name. -Really? -I mean, it sends me — It sends me into, like, a…

  • Late Night Democratic Presidential Debate Round Two
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    Late Night Democratic Presidential Debate Round Two

    -CNN held the second round of Democratic presidential debates last week. And once again, they had to split it up into two groups. And my complaint was not enough candidates in one night. So I decided to hold a debate of my own. All 20 candidates are right here, right now, and they’re ready to go, so without further ado, here’s the “Late Night Democratic presidential debate.” [ Cheers and applause ] Welcome to the “Late Night 2020 Democratic presidential debate.” I’m your moderator, Seth Meyers. Congressman Delaney, let’s start with you. The latest polls have you at less than 1%. Who is still supporting your presidential campaign at this…

  • Ellen Looks Back at ‘When Things Go Wrong’
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    Ellen Looks Back at ‘When Things Go Wrong’

    Oh, it’s hard to believe, but our 2,500th show is tomorrow. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from doing 2,499 shows, it’s that things don’t always go as planned. And that is OK. Watch. [MUSIC PLAYING] (SINGING) You’re such a motivator. I gotta you there to set the scene. Yes, sir, yes, sir. [LAUGHS] [SHOUTS] Backwards from this deck. Whoa! Where’d it go? Hold on. I got it. Whoa. I got it. I got it. You got it? All right. Oh, oh. Oh, nice to meet you. Yeah. Yell out, I need a hug. Just yell that out real loud. I need a hug. I need a ho. [LAUGHTER] No.…