• Articles

    Anthony Jeselnik on Performing Stand Up at a Prison

    GOOD TO SEE YOU.>>GREAT TO SEE YOU.>>Jimmy: HOW WAS YOUR FATHER’S DAY? DID YOU DO A BIG THING FOR D■AD HAVE A DEAL OR GIFTS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT?>>NO.>>Jimmy: NOTHING, HUH?>>I MIGHT HAVE CALLED HIM. I’M NOT SURE. BUT NO GIFT FOR GARTH’S FATHER’. WHAT I DID DO, HE’S TURNING 70 AT THE END OF THE SUMMER, AUGUST 31st. AND I GOT IN TOUCH WITH THE PITTSBURGH PIRATES. WE’RE IN PITTSBURGH. AND ON HIS 70th BIRTHDAY HE’S GOING TO THROW OUT THE FIRST PITCH AND I’M GOING TO CATCH IT.>>Jimmy: OH, WOW. NICE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>>YEAH.>>Jimmy: DOES HE KNOW THAT THIS IS HAPPENING OR IS HE JUST FINDING…

  • Can Dads Answer Questions About Their Kids?
    Articles,  Blog

    Can Dads Answer Questions About Their Kids?

    DJTJ HAVE PLANNED FOR FATHER’S DAY ON SUNDAY, BUT FATHER’S DAY IS SUNDAY. AND FATHERS, FOR THOSE OF YOU UNFAMILIAR ARE THE PEOPLE WHO FALL ASLEEP AFTER DINNER. BEING A DAD, THE THING THEY DON’T TELL YOU ABOUT FATHERHOOD IS LIKE FOR ABOUT AN HOUR A DAY YOU HAVE TO GET ON THE FLOOR AND PRETEND TO BE A HORSE. BUT WE CAME UP WITH SOMETHING FUN IN HONOR OF THE DAY. WE WENT OUT ON THE STREET AND ASKED FATHERS TO ANSWER BASIC QUESTIONS ABOUT THEIR CHILDREN ON OUR FIRST-EVER POP QUIZ.>>ARE YOU AND YOUR SON PRETTY CLOSE?>>YEAH, I THINK SO, YEAH.>>AND WOULD YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A PRETTY INVOLVED…

  • Method Man on Wu-Tang, Marvel & Working at the Statue of Liberty
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    Method Man on Wu-Tang, Marvel & Working at the Statue of Liberty

    ♪ ♪>>Jimmy: YOU KNOW, YOU WERE, I ASSUME YOU REMEMBER THIS, ALTHOUGH YOU WERE PRETTY HIGH AT THE TIME.>>HEY, I WAS.>>Jimmy: YOU WERE, IN THE FIRST YEAR OF THE SHOW, I WOULD HAVE A CO-HOST EVERY NIGHT FOR THE WEEK, AND YOU WERE ONE OF THE ORIGINAL CO-HOSTS, AND WE HAD A LOT OF FUN, RIGHT?>>YEAH, WE DID, WE DID. YOU SET ME UP A COUPLE OF TIMES, BUT IT WAS FINE.>>Jimmy: WHO DID I SET YOU UP WITH?>>KELLY OSBOURNE. I SAID SOME OFF-COLOR STUFF.>>Jimmy: DID I DO THAT?>>YEAH. BUT THE LAST NIGHT OF HOSTING YOU SURPRISED ME WITH SKIS.>>Jimmy: OH, AS A GIFT.>>AS A GIFT. AND I’M LOOKIN’ LIKE,…

  • Trump Lies About His Trade War with China: A Closer Look
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    Trump Lies About His Trade War with China: A Closer Look

    -The president is ratcheting up his trade war with China and lying about what it means for American companies and consumers. For more on this, it’s time for “A Closer Look.” [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ When it comes to foreign policy, there are two things we know about Donald Trump. He wants to be liked by everyone and he has no idea what he’s talking about. That’s why his description of how he would conduct himself in office was always so incoherent. During the campaign, for example, Trump insisted both that as a businessman, he could have good relationships with everybody and also that, as a nation, we…

  • Alex Morgan & Megan Rapinoe on Winning the World Cup & Equal Pay
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    Alex Morgan & Megan Rapinoe on Winning the World Cup & Equal Pay

    ON SUNDAY, OUR NEXT GUESTS AND THEIR TEAMMATES KNOCKED OFF THE LANDS OF NETHER TO WENT THEIR SECOND CONSECUTIVE WORLD CUP FOR THE UNITED STATES, AND THEY CELEBRATED, TOO. PLEASE WELCOME CO-CAPTAINS OF THE TEAM, ALEX MORGAN AND MEGAN RAPINOE. ♪ ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪>>Jimmy: HOW ABOUT THAT? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>>Jimmy: THAT’S BEAUTIFUL. CONGRATULATIONS.>>THANK YOU.>>Jimmy: THANKS FOR COMING.>>YEAH.>>Jimmy: IT’S KIND OF FUNNY THAT THE WORLD CUP ISN’T A CUP.>>I KNOW. WE WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO DRINKING OUT OF IT.>>Jimmy: YEAH, YOU CAN’T, THE BEST THING YOU COULD DO IS MAYBE HIT EACH OTHER OVER THE HEAD WITH IT. IS IT FUN TO WIN THE WORLD CUP? IT SEEMS…

  • Jimmy Kimmel on Mueller Testimony
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    Jimmy Kimmel on Mueller Testimony

    THANK YOU FOR COMING. AND THANKS FOR JOINING US FOR WHAT IS, WILL BE OUR AFTER THE SPECIAL COUNSEL SPECIAL TONIGHT. ROBERT MUELLER TESTIFIED FOR LIKE 25 HOURS TODAY. THIS WAS A MAJOR EVENT IN WASHINGTON. BARS IN WASHINGTON, D.C. OPENED VERY EARLY TODAY TO HOST VIEWING PARTIES. THEY STARTED AT 8:30 A.M. I KNOW THIS IS INTERESTING, BUT IF YOU’RE WATCHING A HEARING AT A BAR AT 8:30, YOU’RE PROBABLY AN ALCOHOLIC IS WHAT’S GOING ON. IS WHA I WAS UP EARLY THIS MORNING WATCHING WITH MY KIDS. THEY NEEDED A BREAK FROM “PAW PATROL.” I ASKED MY 4-YEAR-OLD, AND SHE SAID IT WAS OUTSIDE HER PURVIEW AND REFERRED…

  • Danica Patrick on Boyfriend Aaron Rodgers, the Dalai Lama & Hosting the ESPYs
    Articles,  Blog

    Danica Patrick on Boyfriend Aaron Rodgers, the Dalai Lama & Hosting the ESPYs

    WELL, LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE ENJOYING — >>THEY STAND. THAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD.>>Jimmy: FOR SOME REASON THESE PEOPLE KEEP STANDING. THEY THINK WE’RE AT CHURCH IS WHAT’S GOING ON. HOW’S RETIREMENT? IS IT FUN?>>YEAH.>>Jimmy: YOU LIKE IT.>>ANYONE ELSE RETIRED? IT’S GOOD.>>Jimmy: A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE RETIRED. YOU LOVE IT, THOUGH.>>BUT RETIRED AT 36 IS PROBABLY THE FIRST TIME I’VE FELT YOUNG BECAUSE LIKE I FEEL — YOU KNOW THERE’S A TRANSITION WHERE YOU GO FROM, YOU KNOW, YOU’RE THE YOUNGEST PERSON EVER THEN YOU’RE THE OLDEST PERSON EVER. IT HANS ALL OF A SUDDEN. THEN YEAH, ALL OF A SUDDEN I’M LIKE I FEEL YOUNG BECAUSE I’M RETIRED AT…