• Donald And Melania Trump Hosted A Spooky Halloween Party
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    Donald And Melania Trump Hosted A Spooky Halloween Party

    ( APPLAUSE ) NOW, LAST NIGHT, THE PRESIDENT AND FIRST LADY HOSTED THEIR THIRD HALLOWEEN AT THE WHITE HOUSE. IT’S KIND OF CUTE. IN KEEPING WITH TRADITION, TRUMP WELCOMED CHILDREN OF MILITARY FAMILIES, AS WELL AS LOCAL ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STUDENTS, FOR TRICK-OR-TREATING. WHAT A SPOOKY EXPERIENCE FOR THOSE CHILDREN! ( AS KID ) “IT’S THAT BIG, CREEPY HOUSE ON THE END OF THE BLOCK. THEY SAY THE OLD MAN WHO LIVES THERE WEARS HAIR MADE FROM DEAD PEOPLE!” ( LAUGHTER ) “HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S WEARING SOMEBODY ELSE’S SKIN!” ( LAUGHTER ) TO KICK THINGS OFF, THE PRESIDENT AND THE FIRST LADY WALKED OUT TO “THE ADDAMS FAMILY” THEME SONG.…

  • Kanye West Tried to Join Chance the Rapper’s Wedding Band
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    Kanye West Tried to Join Chance the Rapper’s Wedding Band

    -I’m so happy to see you every time. How’s everything going upstairs on “Saturday Night Live?” -It’s crazy. -It’s nuts, right? -It’s a lot of moving around. It’s a lot of duties and responsibilities. But it’s amazing. -Did you ever think that you would ever host and musical guest? -It honestly has been a dream for me since I was a little kid. My older cousin Chris used to have all this MC Hammer memorabilia. -Sure. -I guess it wasn’t memorabilia, ’cause it was current. -At the time. -Yeah. At the time, it was — Yeah, but now it’s memorabilia. -It was passed down to me, and it became memorabilia,…

  • Sophia the Robot and Jimmy Sing a Duet of “Say Something”
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    Sophia the Robot and Jimmy Sing a Duet of “Say Something”

    -This is “Tonight Showbotics.” Let’s meet our first robot. Please welcome from M.I.T., Sangbae Kim and the Mini Cheetah. [ Cheers and applause ] Thank you. Good to see you. [ Chuckles ] Oh, my God. Okay, all right. First of all — Wow, okay. This thing is amazing. What is it, and why did you make this? What is it? [ Laughter ] -This is a Mini Cheetah. We built several regular robots, but we brought the small one, not to scare you. [ Light laughter ] -Too late. [ Laughter ] -We built this robot to develop the mobility. So, we have many robot out there, but their…

  • Republicans Run For Cover After Trump’s G-7 Doral Announcement
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    Republicans Run For Cover After Trump’s G-7 Doral Announcement

    WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO “THE LATE SHOW”! I AM YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT, AND IT IS WONDERFUL TO BE BACK. FEELS GOOD TO BE HERE WITH THESE GREAT PEOPLE. I’VE BEEN OUT OF THE COUNTRY. WAY OUT OF THE COUNTRY. NEW ZEALAND. OUT OF THE HEMISPHERE– BOTH OF THEM. I HAVE BEEN AS FAR FROM THE INSATIABLE BLACK HOLE OF NEWS THAT IS DONALD TRUMP AS YOU CAN GET ON THIS PLANET. ( LAUGHTER ) NOW, I’VE HEARD THERE HAVE BEEN SOME DEVELOPMENTS OVER THE LAST TEN DAYS THAT DID NOT GO SO WELL FOR DONNY, BUT TODAY, AT HIS FIRST CABINET MEETING SINCE THE IMPEACHMENT PROCEEDINGS BEGAN, HE…

  • Michael Che Wants to Plan Something Dirty for Colin Jost’s Bachelor Party
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    Michael Che Wants to Plan Something Dirty for Colin Jost’s Bachelor Party

    -I know “Saturday Night Live” is happening this Saturday. You’re probably going, “Why are we doing this show? We got work to do.” Thank you for being here. -This gets us out of doing the work. -Oh, good. Oh, yeah. You got Woody Harrelson and Billie Eilish. That’s a great show. -They always travel together. -They really do. That’s big news. I mean, the season premiere. I remember I was always kind of excited and nervous about, like, what’s gonna happen? What new things we got cooked up and all that stuff. -Yeah, that’s always the scariest thing. Woody has already there like a few seasons ago. He was so…

  • Did Trump End The Birther Controversy, Or Is That His Biggest Lie Yet?
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    Did Trump End The Birther Controversy, Or Is That His Biggest Lie Yet?

    YEAH, I’M VERY EXCITED. WE HAVE FIRST LADY MICHELLE OBAMA ON THE SHOW TOMORROW NIGHT.>>Jon: OH, MY GOODNESS. I’M SO EXCITED. THAT’S GOING TO BE INCREDIBLE! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >>Stephen: SHE IS MY QUEEN. SHE IS LIKE THE BEYONCE OF PEOPLE WHO WILL TALK TO ME. ( LAUGHTER ) GOING TO BE A GREAT SHOW. PLEASE JOIN US. BUT I’M ALSO REAL EXCITED FOR OUR GUEST TONIGHT. CHRIS PRATT, SCOTT BAKULA, AND FREDERIK THE GREAT, THE WORLD’S MOST HANDSOME HORSE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I MEAN, DID YOU HEAR THAT?>>Jon: YEAH!>>Stephen: DO YOU FEEL THAT?>>Jon: YEAH.>>Stephen: THE EXCITEMENT IN THIS ROOM IS PALPABLE. JIM, CAN WE PUT…

  • Carpool Karaoke w/ Adam Levine
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    Carpool Karaoke w/ Adam Levine

    >>THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME GET TO WORK.>>James: NO PROBLEM.>>I APPRECIATE IT. YOU’RE A REAL FRIEND. MUST BE A COOL DAD. MUST BE A VERY COOL DAD. A REAL COOL DAD. ♪ JUST SHOOT FOR THE STARS IF IT FEELS RIGHT ♪ AND AIM FOR MY HEART IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT ♪ TAKE ME AWAY AND MAKE IT OKAY ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ I DON’T GIVE A– AND IT GOES LIKE THIS ♪ TAKE ME BY THE TONGUE AND I’LL KNOW YOU ♪ KISS ME ‘TIL YOU’RE DRUNK AND I’LL SHOW YOU ♪ ALL THE MOVES LIKE JAGGER I’VE GOT THE MOVES LIKE JAGGER ♪ I’VE GOT THE MOVES…

  • The Trumps Go On A Royal Field Trip
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    The Trumps Go On A Royal Field Trip

    WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT, AND I’VE GOT TO SAY IT’S GOOD TO BE BACK. WE WERE ON BREAK LAST WEEK. I HAD A MARVELOUS TIME, FROM WHAT I REMEMBER. ( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF ) THE PRESIDENT HAS FLED THE COUNTRY. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) KNOWING WE WERE BACK ON THE AIR! HE’S ON THE SECOND LEG OF A FOUR-NATION TOUR WE’RE CALLING — >>WHY IN THE WORLD IS DONALD TRUMP. ( LAUGHTER ) >>Stephen: AT THIS VERY MOMENT, DONALD TRUMP IS IN LONDON ON AN OFFICIAL STATE VISIT, AND TODAY WAS FULL OF ROYAL MIXERS, INCLUDING THIS AFTERNOON,…

  • Kelly Clarkson Announces Her Own Daytime Talk Show
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    Kelly Clarkson Announces Her Own Daytime Talk Show

    -First of all, congrats on “The Voice.” -Thank you. -Your first season out of the gate, you won. -Well, thank you. -I mean, well, please. Oh, my God. [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ -Apparently, it’s all I know how to do, Jimmy. I’m just kidding. -You were bringing her on — -I totally jinxed myself… -No. -…for this season. -That was the first person that you turned your chair around for. -Brynn was the first person I — I turned my chair for, yeah. And then I — It wouldn’t have mattered. Like, honestly, I didn’t do anything. Brynn would have won on anyone’s team. She’s magical, so… -And…