• Tosh.0 – Web Redemption – Rifle Kid
    Articles,  Blog

    Tosh.0 – Web Redemption – Rifle Kid

    – IT’S THE VIEW OUTSIDE PEOPLE’S DOORS AND WINDOWS THAT HAS WALNUT CREEK NEIGHBORS DOING DOUBLE TAKES. YES, THAT’S A GUY WITH A RIFLE STRAPPED ACROSS HIS BACK WALKING DOWN THE SIDEWALK. – THIS IS MY GRANDDAD’S GUN FROM WORLD WAR II. – 19-YEAR-OLD JOHN SCHULTZ ALSO WEARS A BULLETPROOF VEST, CARRIES AMMO, AND KEEPS A KNIFE. – I HAVE ZIP TIES ON AS WELL, JUST IN CASE. – MY KIDS DON’T EVEN COME OUTSIDE ‘CAUSE THEY’RE SCARED. – HIS WALKS VARY, DAY AND NIGHT. IT’S MOSTLY FOR PICKING UP GARBAGE. – IT’S NOTHING TO DO WITH THE GUN OR THE BODY ARMOR. IT’S THE PERSON. – BUT THERE’S TILL…

  • Tosh.0 – Web Redemption – Girl Dunks
    Articles,  Blog

    Tosh.0 – Web Redemption – Girl Dunks

    Fwap! (man) I thought for sure that was gonna end in a face-plant. Oh! (man) Almost hit the seat. I don’t even know how the [bleep] I just fell. – You get that on video? – Got it. (woman) What happened? I just completely [bleep]. Are her breast okay? The Knicks are gonna love her next season. That tomahawking tomboy is Jackie, and when she tried to be one of the guys, she took a steel chair to the clam. The only thing chicks should be dunking is fondue. Now, before you gals get your torches and pitchforks, remember that I pee sitting down, so I’m allowed to say whatever…

  • Alternatino (Web Series) – Donde Esta la Biblioteca? – Uncensored
    Articles,  Blog

    Alternatino (Web Series) – Donde Esta la Biblioteca? – Uncensored

    – Tonight on Clock Ticking on a Screen, we’ll investigate the question that has been baffling limited Spanish speakers for generations. That’s right, we will finally answer: Donde esta la biblioteca? I began my search at the place with the biggest concentration of people who’ve taken seven years of Spanish and forgot it, Brooklyn, New York. Although this was a traditionally Spanish speaking neighborhood, it seemed to me that things had changed. No one seems to have an answer and I was stuck. So I decided to ask an expert. This is Ken Bray. Bray has spent his entire adult life obsessively trying to figure out, donde esta la biblioteca?…

  • Tosh.0 – Web Redemption – Monster Energy
    Articles,  Blog

    Tosh.0 – Web Redemption – Monster Energy

    The letter “vav” is also the number 6– short top, long tail. Short top, long tail. You could have here, in Hebrew, “666” on the can. And look at it this way. Even if the “M” was not the issue, you cannot deny that that is a cross. And what is witchcraft? When the cross goes upside down. Bottom’s up. And the devil laughs. Hmm. Eh, it’s not like Jesus Juice has such a glowing reputation either. That crusader is Christine, and like every woman in the world, she might be reading into things a little too much. My true fans know this show is full of hidden messages. Not…

  • Cobie Smulders Didn’t Know She Was Playing an Alien in Spider-Man
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    Cobie Smulders Didn’t Know She Was Playing an Alien in Spider-Man

    -Welcome back. How have you been? -I’ve been great. It’s lovely to be back. Thank you for having me. -How’s the fam? How’s the daughters? -Everybody’s doing great -How old are they now? -They’re 10 and almost 5. Getting double digits up in here. It’s crazy. Yeah, it’s crazy. -Happened so fast. Are they getting super psyched for the holidays? -Yeah. I feel like, you know, after Halloween, it’s just like a bullet into Christmas. I don’t know why we just go right over Thanksgiving. What happened? -Yeah, you’re right. -What happened with the most grateful — This is the grateful holiday of the year. We should be really celebrating…

  • Will Ferrell Ruined Christopher Walken’s Life with SNL’s More Cowbell Sketch
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    Will Ferrell Ruined Christopher Walken’s Life with SNL’s More Cowbell Sketch

    -Happy Thanksgiving. -Is it — Well, not yet. -No, no. -Coming up. -No, today is Thanksgiving. -It is? -Yeah, today. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving, man. Thanks for coming over. Thanks for coming over, man. -Did you make any food, or — -I have just liquids, just — -Yeah. -I just pureed some turkey and stuff — -Happy Thanksgiving. -Happy Thanksgiving. What are you doing for Thanksgiving? Anything cool? -Yeah, super cool stuff. [ Laughter ] -Yeah, man. -Hold on. Listen to this. I’m going to the house where my wife grew up in Boston. -There you go, man. [ Howls ] [ Cheers and applause ] [ Imitates air horn…

  • Public Domain Songs w/ Jamie Foxx
    Articles,  Blog

    Public Domain Songs w/ Jamie Foxx

    >>James: WELCOME BACK. NO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IF THERE IS ONE THING I LOVE IT’S GETTING ROMANTIC ON A COLD WINTER’S NIGHT AND IF THERE IS A SECOND THING I LOVE IT’S SINGING MEDLEYS OF SONGS WITH MY FRIENDS. BUT PAYING FOR THE RIGHTS TO SING SONGS ON TELEVISION CAN BE VERY, VERY EXPENSIVE. AND FRANKLY, WE BLEW OUR BUDGET ON CATERING. SO TO KEEP COSTS DOWN, I LIKE TO SING TOTALLY FREE PUBLIC DOMAIN SONGS. AND HER TO — HERE TO HELP ME PLEASE WELCOME MY NEW BEST FRIEND MR. JAMIE FOXX. JAMIE FOXX, EVERYBODY. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) OH YEAH. WHOOO!>>James: HOW ARE YOU, JAMIE.>>I’M GREAT, BABY, WE IN…

  • Tyler Perry Studios to Host Democratic Debate
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    Tyler Perry Studios to Host Democratic Debate

    -You guys, we have a great show for you tonight. Henry Golding is here. -Oh. -Noomi Rapace is here. [ Cheers and applause ] And we have magic from Dan White. -Ooh. [ Cheers and applause ] -It’s great. Dan’s been very busy lately. Dan — he keeps getting calls from one guy saying, [ As Trump ] “Can you make the impeachment disappear?” It’s amazing. He doesn’t know who it is. Guys, the 2020 election is less than a year away, so one year from today, either Democrats or Republicans will claim that they’re moving to Canada then just continue to go about their lives. [ Laughter ] And…

  • Side Effects May Include w/ The Jonas Brothers
    Articles,  Blog

    Side Effects May Include w/ The Jonas Brothers

    ♪ OKAY. IS ANYBODY HERE THINKING OF FORMING A BAND WITH YOUR BROTHERS? ANYONE? (APPLAUSE) IF YOU ARE THINKING OF FORMING A PANNED WITH YOUR BROTHERS YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THERE ARE SIDE EFFECTEDS AND THOSE– I CAN’T, THIS FEELS A BIT WEIRD FOR ME DOING THISMENT BECAUSE I HAVE ONLY GOT SISTERS. I GOT ONE OLDER, ONE YOUNGER, THIS SAY WEIRD ONE FOR ME. I THINK I MIGHT NEED SOME HELP.>>I THINK I CAN HELP WITH THAT, JAMES. (APPLAUSE).>>James: JOE, I DISN SEE YOU THERE.>>I’M HERE TOO, JAMES.>>James: WHAT? WHAT?>>THANK YOU.>>James: THIS SIN SAIN. IT IS SO WEIRD BECAUSE NORMALLY I JUST LOOK STRAIGHT DOWN THE CAMERA, SO I…