Jan van de Stool co-hosting the 2016 Helpmann Awards
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Jan van de Stool co-hosting the 2016 Helpmann Awards

(APPLAUSE) Please welcome Helpmann Nominee and star
of music, theatre, cabaret and the legitimate stage,
Queenie van de Zandt. (‘DON’T RAIN ON MY PARADE’ PLAYS) (APPLAUSE) OK, yeah. Lady, stop. Oye, oye, lady in the thing, finish. Finish it, finish it. OK. So, sorry Poor Queenie unfortunately just got a rash. She’s been very nervous today and she got a very bad stress rash. It has just gone up further and further and onto her face and into her mouth and
uhh! (LAUGHTER) Anyway… So, yey, so, as her support person and former singing teacher
backstage this evening, I just said, you can’t go on like that,
you look ugly. (LAUGHTER) And so, I say don’t worry, I will do it. So… For those of you who do not know me, my name is Jan van de Stool,
International Musical Therapist (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) Awh! Thank you, thank you. Obviously I know a lot of you from
my Musical Therapy workshops. Kate and Jeffery, Hugh. I mean they are not actually here. Oh! But… But anyway, I know them, catch! (LAUGHTER) OK. So, anyway, let’s get on with it,
ladies and gays. (LAUGHTER) So. Uhh… (APPLAUSE) Thank you. (LAUGHTER) The first prize I will be awarding in tonight’s
Adult Eisteddfod, (LAUGHTER) is… (LAUGHTER AND CHEERING) …is best presentation for children, which is lovely segue really from
that last act of Matilda. I don’t know about you but I had no idea
there was eight Matildas. Must be quite hard to follow that show. (LAUGHTER) Anyway… I think that Whitney Houston said it best when she sang: # I believe the children are our future. # (LAUGHTER) That of course, that of course was
when she could still sing and when she had a future. (LAUGHTER) So here are… Awh you’re lovely. (LAUGHTER) Here are the nominations for best
presentation for children. (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYS) – [Voiceover] Bamberts’s Book of Lost Stories, Barking Gecko Theatre Company. Oddysea. Sensorium Theatre and Performing Lines WA Roald Dahl’s
Revolting Rhymes & Dirty Beasts. Shake and Stir Theatre Company. The Young King.
Slingsby Theatre Company (GENTLE MUSIC) I love children. Actually, Pieter and I… he’s my husband. We were never
lucky enough to have children, which is probably good thing,
because we’re also cousins. (LAUGHTER) And the winner of the best
presentation for children is: Oh! Thank you. (LAUGHTER) OK. It is for…the Helpmann goes to
Barking Gecko Theatre Company. Woo! (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) (ORCHESTRA MUSIC PLAYS) – [Voiceover] This production has been a
massive hit around the country. And collecting the award is
Artistic Director Matt Edgerton. – [Jan] Winners, winners, yes. – We are absolutely thrilled to be here
and to be nominated in such a wonderful group of theatre
companies, giants of children’s theatre in this country. Slingsby and Sensorium and Shake & Stir. We did just wanna share a quote that was
really close to us as we were making this work from
Reinhardt Jung who wrote the novel on
which the play is based. He said, “I think we must challenge children. “It is a matter of demanding for the smallest,
only the finest.” (APPLAUSE) – There are a number of people who we
worked with at Barking Gecko to make that idea into a reality. Thank you to my collaborator Dan
Giovannoni, to Jonathan Oxlade, Ian Moorhead,
Chris Donnelly, Matt Edgerton, Ryanne Perry, Anna Kosky, Helen
Ristowsky and to our incredible cast Igor Sas,
Jo Morris, Amanda McGregor, Nick Mclaine and
Tim Watts. This was truly a team effort. And everyone put such love and
care into this work and I thank you each, thank you. (APPLAUSE) And now, to the award that everyone is always
waiting for at the Helpmanns. It’s the big one! Best Regional Touring Production. (LAUGHTER) Now… this award… This award celebrates and acknowledges
those wonderful productions that don’t just play in Sydney
or Melbourne, you know. But they reach out to the heartland of the
Aussie heartland of Australia To the Outback, you know,
places like Brisbane and Perth… (LAUGHTER) …and even Adelaide sometimes. (LAUGHTER) Here are the nominees for best regional
touring production. (UPBEAT MUSIC) – [Voiceover] De Novo,
Sydney Dance Company. Mother,
If Theatre. Ronald Dahl’s
Revolting Rhymes & Dirty Beasts. Shake and Stir Theatre Company
and Artour Queensland. Sugarland. Australian Theatre for Young People
and Performing Lines. And the Helpmann goes to: Sugarland. (APPLAUSE) – [Voiceover] The Australian Theatre for
Young People is one of the Australia’s foremost theatre companies,
developing work for children. Collecting the award is their
General Manager Amy Maiden. – Goodness me, thank you so much. My name is Amy. I’m the General Manager of the Australian Theatre for Young People. Huh! And I’m so honored to stand beside the
incredible Rachel Coopes and Wayne Blair who wrote
such a beautiful play. Sugarland was a production that,
in some of the most challenging funding times for small to medium
arts companies. Many times, it very nearly didn’t happen. There’s a lot of people’s to thank. So I’m gonna go fast, and I made notes ’cause I’m a bit of a nerd. The Australian Council,
Arts New South Wales, the Tim Fairfax Family Foundation, the Vincent Fairfax Family Foundation,
The Westpac Foundation, Michael Eileen, the ATYP board,
my predecessor in this job: Aaron Beach and entire ATYP team,
thank you so much for all your hard work. Thank you to Performing Lines and the
Black Lines consortium. Without you, this absolutely
would not have happened. I wanna thank the originating and touring crew in creating this, man, you made some magic
out of the smallest budget known to man. The originating and touring cast,
you guys are the most talented, wonderful, passionate and most
recently resilient young people. It’s an honour to work with you. To our co-directors: Frazer Caulfield,
who should be making this speech, he’s the artistic director of ATYP,
he’s off being fancy in Okinawa directing a show. To our other co-director: David Page,
it was an honour. We miss you, we love you.
You were an absolute giant. And you remain so in our hearts. And thank you to Rachel Copes and to
Wayne Blair for going to Katherine since
2011, finding these stories, meeting these people and finally thank you to the people of Katherine, you trusted us, you gave us your permission to tell these
stories around the country, and we dedicate this award to the people of
Katherine tonight. (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) Ahhh! How lovely! And now, it’s now my time to have pleasure
and introduce… (LAUGHTER) introduce a wonderful man. Some of you may know him from playschool. Many of you know him from Offspring, but hardly any of you would know him from
Australia’s Got Talent. Eddie Perfect! (ORCHESTRA PLAYS) Yes, stop. OK, so… (LAUGHTER) Now Eddie and I, we got to know each other because Eddie was judg on
Australia’s Got Talent and I’ve also contested. And now, look at us here,
equals on the stage, you know. (LAUGHTER) Ah, with me, co-hosting the Helpmanns and Eddie helping me present
couple of awards. (LAUGHTER) That’s show biz ladies and gents, right there. – Well, it’s an absolute pleasure to be here
with you Jan. – Yeah.
– Yeah. – Oh.
– I think… (LAUGHS) (LAUGHTER) The next award is for Best Cabaret Performer. – Now Wikipedia defines cabaret as follows: A form of entertainment distinguished mainly by the performance venue,
a restaurant or night club and cabaret is also a Mediterranean brothel. (LAUGHTER) – Unfortunately, we’re only
awarding someone tonight for the first part of that definition Jan. – Oh really? Oh it’s a shame because, you
know, those people on the Mediterranean brothels,
I’ve seen Games of Thrones and they work very hard. (LAUGHTER)
So… that’s a shame. And the nominees for
best Cabaret Performer are: – [Voiceover] Alan Cumming,
Alan Cumming Sings Sappy Songs. Michael Griffiths, Cole. Michaela Burger & Greg Wain,
Exposing Edith. Phil Scott, Reviewing The Situation. (APPLAUSE) – You know, it’s like that time when Joffrey
and little finger got that girl from that from the cabaret and
they made her be a deer. Do you remember that and that was,
intense cabaret. (LAUGHTER) – And the Helpmann award goes to: Michael Griffiths, Cole. – Oooooo! (APPLAUSE) – [Voiceover] Michael Griffiths, Cole
was a massive hit at the Adelaide Cabaret Festival and this is Michael’s first Bobby. (ORCHESTRA PLAYS) – Oh my god! Oh wow! This is just wonderful, absolutely wonderful. I’m speechless, I didn’t really have a proper
speech. I need to thank Barry Humphries,
John Glenn, Zach Tyler, everyone at the
Adelaide Cabaret Festival you are, have given me so much support over a few years now. I love you all. Eddie I’m going to be harassing you about next year’s program. I need to thank Anna Goldsworthy
for a beautiful script. It’s just divine, I love it. Thank you Anna. Mr. Cole Porter,
thank you for your wonderful songs. They are such a joy to sing. Dean Bryant,
I know you’re out there somewhere. I wouldn’t be here without you Deano,
thank you. And I wouldn’t be here without the
love and support of my folks, they’re at home,
probably over at someone’s house with Foxtel. Di and Rodge, hey. And Daryl, my partner.
Thank you for everything. This is just wonderful, thank you so much. (APPLAUSE) – That was nice.
– Yeah, he’s nice. – Yes, Next up. The award for best comedy performance Now, Jan you were at the
Melbourne International Comedy Festival this year, you must have seen all the
nominees perform, right? Yeah. I saw them all. They were all out there on the street,
handing out flyers. (LAUGHTER) I saw them. And I met, and I met, I met Doug Anthony, he’s a lovey guy. Doug. Lovely. – Yes, the…
– Like Michael. The nominations for
Best Comedy Performer are: – [Voiceover] Dough Anthony Allstars, Paul McDermott, Tim Ferguson
& Paul Livingston. Reunion. Rebirth. Julia Morris,
I Don’t Want Your Honest Feedback. Tom Ballard,
The World Keeps Happening. Zoe Coombs Marr,
Trigger Warning. – And the winner of the Helpmann is: – You’re doing it again, you.. – You wanna do it? You do this one. – Oh you’re kinda hogging it. – Yeah, yeah I was.
– OK. Oh! Tom Ballard. (APPLAUSE) Woooo! Yes. Awh! Suck it Zoe Coombs Marr,
in your face. I knew it. I’d like to say thank you very much to the Helpmann Awards. Everyone at token, everyone at the
Melbourne Comedy Festival, my lovely family and everybody who
came along to see my show ‘The World Keeps Happening’,
I really liked doing it, and this award is very very nice and
I really appreciate it. I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you guys as
I’m going to Montreal. Thanks very much. Yes, suck it. Oh! – Oh how gracious, yeah, that’s nice. So listen, what’s up for you next, Eddie? – Well, I’m opening my new play
‘The Beast’ at the Sydney Opera House. Drama Theatre, this Friday night
which is very exciting. Please come, please come. And I’m also writing the songs
for a new musical. – Oh fantastic!
– Yes. – Oh great. Well, listen.
Good luck with the play. And I hope that the musical is
a big success on Broadway so that maybe we get to see it one day. – Hmm.. – OK. Ladies and gentlemen, please
thank Eddie Perfect. (APPLAUSE) And now to present a very special award, we have a very special presenter. Who am I? I was born in Haig Street, Belmont, City of Lake Macquarie, New South Wales. But that was a very long time ago. I’m best known as Jenny’s friend Cheryl, a passionate nurse and
a functioning alcoholic. But that’s it my professional life. (LAUGHTER) In my personal life,
I’m renowned for my generous spirit, my great sense of humour and my big heart. My first name rhymes with Delia
and my last name rhymes with the country called Pie-land. If there was a country called that. Yes, I am the AFI nominated and
Logie Award winning actress from Foxtel’s hit drama, Wentworth Celia Ireland. (APPLAUSE) Good evening. I am Delia Piland.

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