Howie Mandel Had No Idea He Was Going to Host the Show
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Howie Mandel Had No Idea He Was Going to Host the Show


[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Wow. Hi, how are you? [MIMICS CHEER] Thank you. Just like– it’s just
like being at home. I’m telling you. When I walked in the
door every night, my wife is [MIMICS CHEER] and
so it’s like being at home. Well, Ellen is not here. It’s me. Feast your eyes on this. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Yeah. Yeah, I’m going to be
totally honest with you right off the bat. This is a very big production
and I got a call a week ago and said, would you
do Ellen on Tuesday? And I said, I’d love to. I don’t listen and I
thought I was a guest. [LAUGHTER] No, that’s not funny because
I am not prepared to host. I didn’t– they didn’t say– I said I’ll be here,
and they kept talking and I’m thinking they wanted
to go over what I wanted and I have nothing. [LAUGHTER] I have nothing. Why does she need the day off? What is this? Anybody know what she’s doing? They said she’s at home. I would imagine, knowing
Ellen, she’s buying a home. She’s not at home. Ellen already has four homes. Do you know that? She has four homes and I know
how much she loves games, so this is what I thought. I thought She figured it out. If you buy five houses,
you get a hotel. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] Right? Remember that? [APPLAUSE] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Please sit down. It wasn’t that fantastic. You at home can’t see,
but everything I do, they just stand up
and they roar for. This is Halloween
week, Halloween week. [CROWD ROARS] All right. You see? You seem more excited than– I don’t like Halloween. I don’t like costumes. I don’t. I don’t. And I’ll tell you. I’m thrilled to be
here, but nobody’s more thrilled to have me here
than my wife– who is at home. She loves me out of the
house, and right now we’re going through a little
bit of an issue– and it started Saturday. Last Saturday, we had a costume
party and a Halloween party. Anybody here go to Halloween
parties this past weekend? [SCATTERED CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Yeah. So my wife said, we have a
party, and I hate costumes but I’m lucky enough
to be in this business so I was at one of the studios. And I went into the costume
department, and I said, what do you have? And they just happened– I didn’t think. The first thing there was the
wolf and the three little pigs. So I grabbed two
of the costumes. I grabbed the wolf and a pig. And we were going out
on Saturday night. And I started getting ready. I put on the wolf costume and
my wife put on (HESITANTLY) the other costume. [SCATTERED LAUGHTER] And we’re about to leave. And like my wife
constantly does, regardless of where we’re
going or what she’s wearing, she says to me–
she turns to me, (EMPHASIZES) in this
outfit, (NORMALLY) and says, does this make me look fat? [SCATTERED LAUGHTER] And I said, because
honesty is the best policy, I said, honey, you’re a pig. [LAUGHTER] We didn’t go to the party. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] We did not go. [APPLAUSE] Please sit down. This is crazy. This is crazy. Is it always like
this for Ellen? Always with the
standing and the? This is what a– you are the best
audience in the world. This is amazing. [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] [LAUGHING OFF-SCREEN] You have some big news. True. Well, it’s not big news. I watch you. I watch you online, on TikTok– Right. –and all that. And I saw your wife– Yes, she’s having a baby. How close? I mean, it’s– How close? [INTERPOSING VOICES] we down to
the hour, at this point, man. It’s just like– Really? Yeah. Yeah, man. It’s just– [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Wow. Like it’s going to be
a miracle, if I’m here by the end of the show. You know what I mean? She could be crowning
right now, as we speak? That makes me– That– Isn’t that weird? –stresses me out. Yeah. That– I’m sorry buddy. But it’s so weird that you’re
here doing a production, and she’s at home
doing a reproduction. That’s right. [LAUGHS] But you have– This
is going to be your– [APPLAUSE] Oh, please, Sit down. Be our third, yeah. That’s not necessary. [LAUGHING] This is going to be your third? This’ll be our third, Yeah. How old are your children? So we have an 11-year-old,
3-year-old, and– Does your wife let you stay with
the three-year-old by yourself? Like, are you allowed
to take care of– Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Really? Absolutely. Of course? Yeah, of course. I wasn’t– not allowed to. Were you not? [LAUGHING]

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