ELYSE: So, Adam. Binary Domain. [explosion] BRUCE: I know. Blew our minds last time. Blew our minds. ADAM: I worked on an ad campaign with Machinima on this, so. Feel like I know everything about it. ELYSE: You talk to the devs?? ADAM: No… JAMES: Did you talk to the voice actor of Bo? ADAM: No… ELYSE: So you’ve played this, though? ADAM: No. BRUCE: So he knows nothing about the videogame. JAMES: Ask Bo if you remember him. ADAM: Bo, do you remember me? ELYSE: He does! He’s like, “You that little cracker punk” BRUCE: We also found out Bo is the hero of this game, not Daniel or whoever you’re playing as. BRUCE: See that move? ADAM: Yeah why was he doing a pirouette? “Spinning in place!” BRUCE: Look there he goes. ELYSE, JAMES: Oh no! ADAM: He was at least having a good time before he went down. ADAM: So you’re in a futuristic world with gymnasts? JAMES: THE futuristic world BRUCE: Gymnastic robots.
ADAM: Yeah I guess. ELYSE: These are all minds of 13-year-old girls. BRUCE: James, say “Charge.” JAMES: CHARGE JAMES: CHARGE JAMES: CHARGE JAMES: Now, Bo. JAMES: Bo, NOW! BRUCE: He’s sorta deaf. And I don’t know why they sent him out on these missions, he’s really dangerous missions especially if he’s deaf. ELYSE: Bo, cover me. “Come over for dinner?” BRUCE: Look at that, you see these moves? I’m telling you, nobody stops Bo. Look at him go! ADAM: Yeah, call me “Ram-Bo.” BRUCE: No, we’re just gonna call you “Bo”, Bo. ELYSE: He could star in any franchise. JAMES: Oh, the kids work for him. It’s like in Brazil. All the kids are criminals in Brazil. BRUCE: This isn’t Brazil, it’s obviously Asia cause they’re all Asian. ADAM: Well, if it’s the future, it could just be downtown LA. ADAM: That helmet does protect at least ten percent of his face. BRUCE: Yeah, it’s really weird I don’t know why the helmet’s never on. JAMES: It allows them to sleep standing up. JAMES: Now, they’re distracted. Shoot all the children. ADAM: Bo saved the child. BRUCE: And they accidentally missed and shot the kid over and over and over. ELYSE: Whoa. No need for that kind of… BRUCE: Not supposed to say that around the kids.
ADAM: We stopped saying that around the Vietnam War ADAM: So you’re like an authority on chil– So wait you’re just child services, right? In this futuristic world as kids clean… rims? BRUCE: Have you guys ever thought about how cool it would be to have a child labor army? They could do anything you wanted and they’d never complain. JAMES: Think about all the holes you that you see in everyday life and you’re like, “I can’t fit in there.” Kids can. BRUCE: They could never ever fight back because they’re smaller than you BRUCE: Who was that? Is that a new character? ADAM: It’s pretty common for videogames to switch voice actors halfway through production. ADAM: Mkay. ADAM: Bo’s like, “Shoot through me!”
JAMES: He immediately got shot. BRUCE: He didn’t tell him to do anything either. ADAM: Those flying top hats are…
BRUCE: There he goes! BRUCE: Look at him goooo ELYSE: Oh he’s down. JAMES: He tripped. Bo, are you okay? BRUCE: The best part of this game is you let Bo play the game and it’s basically like a Walking Dead Telltale game. You just watch it happen. ELYSE: He’s like, “I skinned my knee.” “I think I split my pants.” “I fell down and farted.” “Bo’s gonna take a nap now.” ADAM: Throw a KISS BRUCE: Yeah throw the KISS grenade. Oh we don’t know what that does either. ADAM: What, the KISS grenade? BRUCE: I mean it doesn’t do what you think it does.
ELYSE: Bo does take friendly fire as well. ADAM: That was a strange throw. BRUCE: Aw Bo’s dead! JAMES: NOOO BRUCE: I didn’t know he could die JAMES: Don’t jump down until I tell you. JAMES: Yeah, wait to jump down. JAMES: If we wait, we can surround him from here. ADAM: He’s not listening to you.
JAMES: Don’t jump down. JAMES: Don’t jump down.
ADAM: He’s having his own conversation. BRUCE: Are you excited by Binary Domain? Is it exciting for you? ADAM: I was gonna ask, what’s the name of this game? BRUCE: OK, there goes Bo. JAMES: You see him dropping elbow? JAMES: An el-Bo? BRUCE: Aw geez.
ADAM: Bo– el-Bo, yeah. JAMES: Oh, it’s E. Honda Stage from Street Fighter. BRUCE: He’s so racist. JAMES: Who’s that? ADAM: New love interest. Other than Bo.
BRUCE: New woman character? BRUCE: Which one will fuck her?
ADAM: Ew. BRUCE: Will it be Bo or Bo? ELYSE: “You must be Charlie. I’m the new voice actor.” “Switched halfway through the game.” JAMES: Do you know the difference between a Japanese accent and a South Japanese accent? ADAM: God no.
BRUCE: I do. JAMES: Oh yeah?
BRUCE: Yeah, give it to me. JAMES: You do it. BRUCE: No I can’t do the accent I can tell you how it works. You gotta give it to me. JAMES: OK, so uh JAMES: [accent] You want spicy RAMEN? BRUCE: That’s South Japanese JAMES: You WANT spicy ramen? BRUCE: That’s South Japanese again he’s trying to fool me. JAMES: YOU want spicy ramen? BRUCE: Japanese. [“Who’s that Lady” playing] WHOA
BRUCE: Look at that they’re little brothers! ADAM: You can almost hear them go BOYOYOING ADAM: Hi, nice to meet you, I don’t use condoms. BRUCE: Damn Bo, you hittin’ on a Japanese girl? ELYSE: Well, “ni-hao” isn’t that Chinese? ADAM: [SIGH] ELYSE: What? BRUCE: Bo’s a racist we’ve already established that. JAMES: He’s like, “I’ll have some of that spicy ramen.” BRUCE: “Damn girl, I’ll eat your sushi roll.” JAMES: “No lo mein? We’d be willing to serve you lo mein, maybe dumplings or something like that, steamed buns?” BRUCE: “You got any kimchi?”
JAMES: Ok, that’s just way off. ADAM: That’s a different culture entirely.
JAMES: Way off. JAMES: “I’ll eat your Bo-ritto.” JAMES: Bo, no. You’re not even on the right side of the world. ADAM: “I will cross your DMZ.” BRUCE: “I’ll go down on your Cuban sandwich.” ADAM: That’s just insensitive.
JAMES: “I’ll let you curry in my mouth.” ADAM: Who’s that man? BRUCE: That’s a woman.
ADAM: Ohhhh JAMES: Look at those hips. Oh Bo. ADAM: He’s the one with the donk. ELYSE: He’s built like a rhinoceros in the back. JAMES: And in the front. JAMES: So let’s keep walking on this highway.
BRUCE: I don’t understand. JAMES: The world is in disarray and only five people. ELYSE: Is the game starting or ending? I don’t know.
BRUCE: I don’t know. ADAM: Did you beat it? JAMES: BINARY DOMAIN. BRUCE: This is a REALLY late title card it’s like an hour in. JAMES: More like two hours. JAMES: Oh do I get to pick who’s on my team? ELYSE: Bo of course. BRUCE: Bo’s American.
JAMES: Absolutely. ELYSE: This is a tough choice
JAMES: Definitely not Charlie. JAMES: No. It’s gotta be her.
BRUCE: Chinese. JAMES: We’re gonna fuck so hard. ELYSE: I thought you just wanted to watch Bo have sex with her. JAMES: I’m ok with either of those scenarios. BRUCE: Is he talking about you?
ADAM: Wow. ELYSE: Bo! Is Bo saying that he can’t work with this woman cause she’s too hot? ADAM: Bo is an HR nightmare. ELYSE: Bo needs to get fucking Me Too-ed. that’s what Bo needs. [alarm blaring in game] ADAM: The robot’s car alarm just went off. JAMES: Someone’s trying to break into that robot. We gotta stop him. BRUCE: That robot’s alarm goes off all the time. ADAM: Most people just ignore the robot alarm anyway. JAMES: Snipe him. Faye, shoot. Faye. Shoot. JAMES: Faye.
ELYSE: She’s like,”Why you bother me?” JAMES: Shoot him shoot the sniper.
ADAM: “What’s your problem?” ADAM: She sounded kinda Latino when I heard her
BRUCE: “He called me Korean earlier!” ADAM: Nice! BRUCE: Bo’s not a very good shot either.
JAMES: None of us are. ELYSE: Well he’s never looking where he’s shooting. BRUCE: That’s the key. ADAM: Guns scare Bo. Whoa do those shots! There you go. BRUCE: You’re getting shot right in the face. ADAM: The four bolts just go in his eye socket. ADAM: Oh that’s cool.
ELYSE: Look at your head. JAMES: I like you. JAMES: I like you. BRUCE: That robot’s going, “Ah fuck the panic button.” [ADAM making siren noises] ELYSE: “I will summon my robot brothers.” BRUCE: “I accidentally sat on it again goddammit.” BRUCE: There goes Faye WHOA bye, Faye! BRUCE: There goes Bo, bye, Bo! ADAM: They were in a suicide pact. ELYSE: “If we’re not married by the time we’re forty we’ll kill ourselves.” JAMES: I did. ADAM: Pick an accent type. JAMES: It’s literally naked. BRUCE: Faye, calm down! JAMES: I think I failed. BRUCE: I think the robots are broken. And by robots I mean Bo and Faye. ADAM: This poor robot is just trying to get somewhere. JAMES: He hasn’t attacked any of us, by the way. BRUCE: “Help me!”
ADAM: He’s a gentle giant. “I’m supposed to go to the subway!” ADAM: Ask her if she has a boyfriend. JAMES: Do you have a boyfriend? ELYSE: “Yeah, she’s got Bo-friend.” BRUCE: “That’s me!” ADAM: “I’m her best Bo-friend.” JAMES: Aw sweet they’re just hanging out at the bar. BRUCE: They didn’t hear all the explosions outside? ADAM: “I like you.” BRUCE: Which one’s the human? JAMES: He’s like, “Look at this dumb robot!” BRUCE: His eyes are swiveling. ADAM: Activating emotion chip. Sad. Loving. BRUCE: Wait, is that Dan? ADAM: It’s their rendition of Sid from Toy Story. JAMES: He destroyed that robot when he was a kid. BRUCE: How did he not remember that? ADAM: Oh he built him. That’s his C-3PO. He’s Anikin.
BRUCE: Oh! BRUCE: Oh that’s Faye’s butt. ELYSE: I thought that was Bo’s. JAMES: Do you think there’s Rule 34 of her? ADAM: Yes. JAMES: Do you have California roll? I only eat California roll or something that’s fried. ADAM: Is it weird to serve sushi in a post-apocalyptic robot world?
BRUCE: Yes. ADAM: OK.
BRUCE: I don’t know where you’d get it. BRUCE: Faye Binary Domain Rule 34. ADAM: Oh there’s a romance option.
ELYSE: Maybe there’s some Bo. JAMES: There she is.
ADAM: Ah-ha! JAMES: “No thank you!” ADAM: They got her mole right. ADAM: How do you keep a butthole that clean in a post-apocalyptic world of robots? ELYSE: Only Bo knows.