EXCLUSIVE Ron Burgundy Stand Up Comedy
Articles,  Blog

EXCLUSIVE Ron Burgundy Stand Up Comedy


♪ ♪>>Jimmy: WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL TREAT FOR YOU — A LEGENDARY BROADCASTER WHO NOW HOSTS WHAT PODCAST FANCY MAGAZINE CALLS THE GREATEST PODCAST OF ALL TIME — THE 2ND SEASON OF “THE RON BURGUNDY PODCAST” KICKS OFF TODAY ON I-HEART-RADIO — MAKING HIS LATE-NIGHT TV STAND-UP COMEDY DEBUT. PLEASE WELCOME RON BURGUNDY. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>>THANK YOU! THANK YOU! OH, THAT’S SO NICE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] WOW, PLEASE, STANDING OVATION, GET OUT OF TOWN. MUCH DESERVED. MUCH DESERVED. THANK YOU. PLEASE. THANK YOU. HOW IS, HOW IS EVERYONE TONIGHT? GOOD? YEAH? GREAT. JIMMY KIMMEL, EVERYONE, ONE OF THE GREATS, RIGHT? JIMMY KIMMEL. ONE OF THE BEST. BEST IN THE BIZ. WHERE’S EVERYONE FROM TONIGHT? ALL OVER? ALL OVER? YEAH? DO, DO WE HAVE ANY FOLKS FROM GLEN DALE? LET’S HEAR IT FOR BALDWIN HILLS. YEAH? RANCHO CUCAMONGA. LOS FELIS? WHAT’S THAT PART, NOT ECHO PARK. YOU WOULDN’T CALL IT HOLLYWOOD. NO, IT’S PAST WESTERN. OH, I KNOW, EHO. EHO IN THE HOUSE? NO, BUT I LOVE SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. TRANSITION, TRANSITION. HOW MANY OF YOU OUT THERE HAVE WATCHED PORNOGRAPHY? SHOW OF HANDS? NO JOKE HERE. JUST, JUST WAS CHECKING. GOTCHA. I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE. BUT DATING IS HARD. PRETTY HARD OUT THERE, DATING. THESE, THESE NEW APPS. THEY’VE GOT, THEY’VE GOT DATING APPS, RIGHT? AND THEY’RE CALLED DATING APPS. AND SO I GO ON ONE OF THESE THINGS, AND I PUT IN ALL MY INFORMATION ABOUT ME, RON BURGUNDY, MY DESIRES, FAVORITE BANDS, ACTIVITIES, THE WHOLE BIZ. AND THEN I SIT AROUND AND WAIT. AND APPARENTLY, THERE’S ONLY ONE WOMAN WHO’S AN EXACT MATCH. SHE LIVES IN BORNEO. AND HER NAME IS FILAC FILACCA KIMKATTA, CANNOT MAKE THIS STUFF UP. BUT I DID, I MADE THAT UP FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT. WHAT ELSE? WHAT ELSE? WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON? TECHNOLOGY. YEAH, I DON’T HATE TECHNOLOGY. I WENT ON ANCESTRY.COM, YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHERE THEY FIND OUT WHERE YOU’RE FROM, AND I DID, I DID THE PINPRICK AND THE URINE SAMPLE. AND THE SALIVA TEST. AND TURNS OUT, GUESS WHERE I’M FROM? ALCOHOL. NO, NO, NO, NO. NO. SERIOUSLY. WHAT ELSE? BUFFALO WILD WINGS. THEY’RE NOT BUFFALO. THEY’RE NOT WILD. IT’S CHICKEN. WHERE ARE MY WEED SMOKERS AT? YEAH. AH, I FEEL YOU. IMAGINE JACK NICK OLELSON AND JY STEWART AT THE WEED DISPENSARY. IT WOULD GO SOMETHING LIKE THIS. HEY, MAN. I’M JACK NICKELSON. AND ME AND MY FRIEND JIMMY STEWART WANT TO GET HIGH, MAN. WE WANT TO GO SEE A LAKERS GAME, MAN. THAT, THAT, THAT, THAT’S RIGHT. MY NAME’S JIMMY STEWART, AND I HAVE A STUTTER, THAT GETS MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE PRONOUNCED WHEN WE GET HIGH. I CAN’T DO IMPRESSIONS, FOLKS. I’M NOT GOOD. IT IT’S HARD, I’M NOT VERY GOOD. NOT MY FORTE. I’M NO RICH LITTLE. THANKS, FOLKS. NEXT WEEK, YOU CAN CATCH ME AT THE SAN ANTONIO PIZZA HUT. NOT SURE THEY DO STANDUP COMEDY THERE, BUT I’M GOING TO GIVE DID A TRY. YOU’VE BEEN A GREAT AUDIENCE, THANK YOU SO MUCH.>>Jimmy: RON BURGUNDY, EVERYONE, RON, RON, COME ON, RON.>>YEAH.>>Jimmy: WELL, THAT WAS, WHAT A GREAT SHOW.>>THANK YOU SO MUCH.>>Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK YOU. I MEAN, ON BEHALF OF EVERYONE. FOR CHOOSING US TO MAKE YOUR STANDUP COMEDY DEBUT.>>I MUST HAVE DONE PRETTY WELL BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT ME OVER.>>Jimmy: WHAT’S GONE ON WITH YOUR JOURNALISM CAREER? ARE YOU PUTTING THAT HON THE SI SIDE WHILE YOU DOON THE SIDE WHILE YOU DO THEIR? OH, THAT’S REAL.>>YEAH, THAT’S REAL STUFF.>>Jimmy: FEEL LIKE MY MOM’S PUTTING ME TO SLEEP.>>IT’S THE FIRST TIME I’VE DONE STANDUP, I STEAL SOME OF THE JOKES. BUT YOU CAN CHERRY PICK.>>Jimmy: WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE STANDUP COMEDY?>>RICHARD PRYOR, SAM KENSON. SAM MULE DEER. OH, NANNETTE. I’M BIG NOOINTO NANNETTE.>>Jimmy: SEASON TWO OF THE RON BURGUNDY PODCAST IS DEBUTING.>>WE ARE RELEASING A LOT OF THE PODCAST IN BRAILLE.>>Jimmy: WHO IS YOUR DREAM GUEST FOR THE PODCAST?>>MY DREAM GUEST? IS ME. BESIDES ME WOULD BE THE POPE. I’D LOVE TO GET THE POPE AND YOU’RE MY THIRD. YOU’RE TOP THREE.>>Jimmy: I’M HAPPY TO BE IN TOP THREE.>>THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.>>Jimmy: THE RON BURGUNDY PODCAST” CAN BE HEARD EXCLUSIVELY ON I-HEART-RADIO.

100 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *