David Letterman: Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis | Netflix Is A Joke
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David Letterman: Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis | Netflix Is A Joke

– So this movie, Between
Two Ferns: The Movie it’s got a lot of action,
interviews with a lot of celebrity types. Just watch it.
(upbeat music) (clears throat) – Hi, welcome to another edition of Between Two Ferns. I’m your host, Zach Galifianakis. My guest today is Santa Claus
with an eating disorder. – Thank you very much for
inviting me, I appreciate it. – You look good. – Thanks, so do you. – Did you just wake up from a 15-year nap? You look like Steve Jobs, now. – Okay. – I don’t want to get sentimental,
but I have to tell you, back when I was a kid, I
used to stay up really, really late and– – Good, thanks. – And no, I’d just watch the color bars and the national anthem. Let’s just call out the
elephant in the room. Your new show on Netflix,
two chairs, one guest, and you’ve grown a beard. I don’t like to say the word
thief, so I’m not gonna say, “Stop, thief”, “You’re a
thief”, and I’m not gonna say, “Crime doesn’t pay”, cause
obviously in your case, it did. Your Netflix show is called My Next Guest Needs No Introduction. Wouldn’t a better title be My Next Show Will Have No Viewers? – Yeah, we considered that. – And that didn’t test well? – Oh, I think it tested very well. But it hurt my feelings. – Do you think a good
career trajectory is going from one hit show that everyone
watches to a Netflix show that people mean to watch
but never get around to it? I’ve heard of your show,
I’ve heard people talk about people talking about your show. But I’ve never seen it and
I don’t know any relative or friend of mine or
acquaintance that’s ever seen it. – If you knew me, you’d
know that I don’t much care about other people. – Your son’s name is Harry. Did you name him after your face? – Named him after my late father. (Zach sighs) How do you feel now? – Well, I didn’t know it was
gonna go into a bummer story – No, I know.
– like that. – But you don’t have the
capacity for any sort of empathy or embarrassment. Can you take some constructive criticism? – Yeah. – People find you unpleasant. – Thank you. You love fast cars. In what other ways is your penis small? – Well, I guess in the only important way. – The testicles. – Can I just say something about this? Not once has anyone
discussed with me my penis, my size of my penis, my use
of my penis, or my testicles. So, I’m just curious about
the pathology behind this. – Do you think letting you leave
CBS was the biggest mistake of Les Moonves’s career? – Under normal circumstances,
I would invoke Young Sheldon. But I’m not going to. – Did he ever play grab ass with you? – Yeah. – Did he ever try to honk your peen? – Oh, here we go. I mean, honest to God, what is it? – You got a little choked up
during your first show back after 9/11. Looking back on that now, do
you wish you had grown a sack of ballies? – I guess my mistake was inviting
myself to be on this show. – I like to thank my guest,
David Letterman, for coming on and sharing his insight of the world. – Thank you. – (singing) Never meet your heroes because they will let you down. (continues singing)
Never meet your heroes, because they will let you down. Hey motherfucker, I need that button. (upbeat music) Between Two Ferns: The Movie,
it’s streaming now on Netflix.


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