Andy Richter and Howie Mandel Play ‘5 Second Rule’
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Andy Richter and Howie Mandel Play ‘5 Second Rule’


And Ellen, I want to tell
you this Howie Mandel costume is amazing. Incredible. You’re a nut. It’s actually me, Howie. What? Yes. So have you ever
seen this game, Andy? Oh! I was promised The Ellen Show. No, no. I have seen this game,
and I love this game, and I’m ready to– You want to hear the rules? Sure. Why not? tWitch, tell him the rules. I got you. It sounds like you’re familiar,
but here’s how the game works. Look. So I’ll say a category like
Kinds of Fruit or Scary Movies, and you will have
five seconds to name three things in that
category, then hit the buzzer. Y’all got it? Aw, I love buzzer hitting. OK, cool. You’ll take turns doing it. Howie, you’re first. You ready? Give me a second. OK. Now I am. Love it. OK. All right. What are three
Halloween costumes that shouldn’t have “sexy” attached? Oh, that’s sexy hooker. [BUZZER BUZZES] Yeah, because everyone
loves an unsexy hooker. No. That’s bad for business. But on Halloween, everybody’s
got the slutty nurse. Right. The slutty astronaut,
the slutty– you want to see a hooker
that just is, you know– You know what? I’m going to just move– A prude. I’m going to move on
from the hooker talk. OK. Andy, what are three outfits
Howie would look adorable in? French maid,
pediatrician, and puppy. [BELL DINGS] There we go. First point on the board. Thank you. Howie, name three ways you could
surprise Andy for his birthday. I could get you something
because I’ve never done that, I could
buy you a cake, and I could just say, sapop! [BUZZER BUZZES] [BELL DINGS] I don’t know what I– This is going great. You’re doing great. You know what? The thing is, I grew up
with the five-second rule. I wouldn’t touch anything
after 15 seconds. I don’t like five-second–
you know the five-second rule? Sure, sure. You don’t eat. Do you know the
five-second rule? Yeah– If it’s on the floor,
you can eat it. I don’t like anything that’s
five seconds, except sex. Andy. Yes? Name three things you
can do on late night that you can’t do on daytime. You can say the word
[BEEP] sometimes. You can tell dirty jokes and– [BUZZER BUZZES] Shoot. [BELL DINGS] There’s not a lot
you can do, besides say fuck and tell dirty jokes. What a compelling game this is. I mean, it’s just
like neck and neck. This is– sometimes
on paper, things seem like better ideas
than when you get them out here on the floor. I think it’s going great. Right, folks? Because you’re winning. [CHEERING] All right. One point on the board. I’m going to catch up right now. I feel it. I feel it. Howie, name three excuses to
get out of a speeding ticket. I have to poo, I don’t know how
to drive, and I’m Howie Mandel. [BUZZER BUZZES] [BELL DINGS] I’m trying. I can’t do it. I love that your producer
looks at me at the end of that, and he goes, no. Faster. Like I don’t– like, do have
a look at my face like I don’t get the
five-second concept? I’m trying. I’m not good at this. Nobody asked me. And I’d probably– He thought he’d be a guest. I did. I didn’t think I was
going to play this. I’m not good at
this speed thing. OK. Andy, I’d like to give us
three things you say to get– I’m sorry. Give us three things to say
to yourself in the mirror. You are so handsome. You are so ugly. I love you. [BELL DINGS] That’s how. That’s it. Two points on the board. It’s two, zero right now. OK, I’m going to get one. I’m going to get one. I gotta get one. I’m going to talk faster. I’m going to talk faster. All right. Here we go. What are three things you
do that embarrass your kids and grandkids? Exist, the way I
dress, and my jokes. [BELL DINGS] One point on the board. It’s a game right now. Yes. Yes. All right. Andy, what are three things
your kids make fun of you for? The way I dress, the way
I talk, the way I sing. [BELL DINGS] Mm. Mm. Three to one. Yeah. Name three things you
do better than Ellen. Oh. I– [BELL DINGS] Yeah, well, can we
call that as a point? Can we call that a point, Andy? Yeah, that’ll be a point. I didn’t say them out
loud, but one was cheat, one was to just not
care about the game, and three was press
this without an answer, and I think I said
it just by doing– There we go. We’ll accept that as an answer. All right. Here we go. Howie? What? No, I’m sorry. Andy, give us three things
you were better at than Conan. Better at than Conan. Having a good sense of self. [BUZZER BUZZES] Listen, that’s a deep one. I’ve talked about it to a
therapist with that for hours. You can’t give you five
seconds for that one. I love you can see the
people– the producer going, this is not working. This is not– this is not– this is not– this will
never be on television. Name three reasons
in five seconds why this part of
the show should air. Because you guys are
funny, tWitch is good, and contractually we have
to deliver seven segments. [CHEERING] That’s Andy Lassner,
ladies and gentlemen. That’s Andy Lassner. That’s a closer. That’s a closer. tWitch, you won. You won. And Andy won. I had nothing to do with it. I want to thank you
for being here, Andy. Yes, yes. I’m not a huge fan. tWitch,
thank you for hosting. Of course, of course. No one leaves The Ellen
Show without a prize, so here’s your
brand-new toaster oven! Oh my God! [CHEERING] That’s all you, bro. We’ll be right back. Stay right where you are.

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