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Adam Conover Is Here To Ruin Several Things


WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. MY NEXT GUEST IS A WRITER,
COMEDIAN, PODCASTER, AND NOW, THE CREATOR AND HOST OF “ADAM
RUINS EVERYTHING” ON TRUTV. PLEASE WELCOME, ADAM CONOVER! (BAND PLAYING)
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>>Stephen: NICE TO MEET YOU. INCREDIBLE TO BE HERE. THANK YOU SO MUCH.>>Stephen: I LOVE THE WAY
YOU’RE DRESSED. VERY NATTY.>>I TRY TO LOOK GOOD. I DO MY BEST.>>Stephen: I’M SURE YOU STAND
OUT IN A CROWD.>>YEAH.>>Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU RUIN THINGS? WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO RUIN
SOMETHING?>>IT’S THE SUPERFICIAL IDEA OF
OUR SHOW. IT’S AN EDUCATIONAL COMEDY SHOW
WHERE I TELL PEOPLE AWFUL TRUTH ABOUT COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS OR
CULTURAL TRADITIONS WE DON’T OFTEN EXAMINE. YOU’RE MARRIED, RIGHT?>>Stephen: YEP. GREAT. WHEN YOU PROPOSED, YOU GOT YOUR
FIANCEÉ AN ENGAGEMENT RING?>>Stephen: YES, I GAVE IT TO
HER LATER.>>WE THINK OF IT AS BEING AN
OLD TRADITION. BUT THAT WAS INVENTED BY THE
DIAMOND CARTEL IN THE ’30s TO SELL MORE DIAMOND RINGS THROUGH
A MASSIVE AD CAMPAIGN, AND EVERYBODY FORGOT ABOUT THE
CAMPAIGN AND NOW IT’S THE BED ROM TRADITION OF OUR SOCIETY.>>Stephen: BUT A DIAMOND IS
FOREVER.>>YEAH, KIND OF, YOU KNOW —
>>Stephen: YEAH? YEAH, AND ALSO THEY’RE NOT
VERY VALUABLE.>>Stephen: I THOUGHT SCARCITY
DERMSZ VALUE.>>EXCEPT THERE IS A DIAMOND
CARTEL THAT CONTROLS ALMOST THE ENTIRE WORLD’S SUPPLY OF
DIAMONDS SO THEY RESTRICT THE SUPPLY TO DRIVE THE PRICES UP.>>Stephen: THEY COULD HAVE
YOU KILLED FOR SAYING THAT. ( LAUGHTER )
>>YEAH.>>Stephen: OKAY. WHAT ARE SOME OF THE FAVORITE
THINGS YOU RUINED?>>OH, JEEZ.>>Stephen: AND DO YOU HAVE
JOY AT WATCHING THE LIGHT DRAIN OUT OF SOMEONE’S HAPPY FACE?>>I SURPRISE SOMEONE WHO HAS A
MISCONCEPTION ABOUT THE WORLD.>>Stephen: OTHERWISE HAPPY. AND THEY SAY, OH, WHY DO YOU
HAVE TO RUIN IT FOR ME?! AND I SHOW THEM IT GIVES YOU
MORE POWER IN THE WORLD TO KNOW THE TRUTH SNOOF THAT’S A
PHILOSOPHY, THEN?>>YES, I WAS A PHILOSOPHY MAJOR
IN COLLEGE.>>Stephen: SO WAS I FOR TWO
YEARS AND THEN I DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING USEFUL. ( LAUGHTER )
AT THE END OF MY FRESHMAN 2016, MY FIRST YEAR OF STUDYING, THE
TEST WAS ONLY ONE QUESTION. IS IT BETTER TO KNOW OR NOT TO
KNOW. AND THERE WAS NO TEST ALL YEAR. JUST THAT ONE. IS IT BETTER TO KNOW OR NOT TO
KNOW AND SUPPORT YOUR ANSWER WITH PHILOSOPHY.>>IT’S INCREDIBLY BETTER TO
KNOW.>>Stephen: TELL THAT TO — IS
IT BETTER TO KNOW?>>YES.>>Stephen: I DO NOT WANT TO
KNOW WHAT’S IN MY HOT DOG.>>CHICKEN, PORK, BEEF. IF YOU KNOW, IT MAKES A
WONDERFUL COMBINATION.>>Stephen: WHAT ABOUT THE THE
FLY EYES AND RAT TAIL, THE STUFF ALLOWED TO BE IN YOUR HOT DOG.>>WELL, YOU CAN CHOOSE BETTER
WHICH ONE TO GET. I BELIEVE THERE IS NO VIRTUE IN
IGNORANCE.>>Stephen: YOU HAVE A SPECIAL
COME UP, “ADAM RUINS EVERYTHING, ELECTION SPECIAL.”>>YEAH, THE “ADAM RUINS
EVERYTHING, ELECTION SPECIAL.”>>Stephen: AND YOU HAVE BEEN
TRAVELING AROUND THE UNITED STATES.>>YEAH, WE WENT ON THIS TOUR
BUS, A BUS WITH MY FACE ON IT WE DROVE TO 15 CITIES ACROSS THE
COUNTRY. THIS IS US DRIVING THROUGH THE
WHITE SANDS DESERT WHICH IS A POST-APOCALYPTIC FEELING TO
DRIVE THROUGH A DESERT IN A BUS WITH YOUR FACE ON IT. AND AN AMERICAN FLAG. IT MADE IT VERY HARD TO BE INCOG
NEAT — INCOGNITO.>>Stephen: HOW DO YOU RUIN
ELECTIONS?>>THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE
DOING INCREDIBLE COMEDY ABOUT THE ELECTION. THE ONE THING WE THOUGHT WE
COULD ADD WITH THE SPECIAL IS ADD AN HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE TO
IT.>>Stephen: IS THERE AN
HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE ON THIS ELECTION.>>YES.>>Stephen: WHO IS LIKE TRUMP? A LOT OF EXAMPLES.>>Stephen: NEVER BEEN A
WOMAN.>>THAT IS TRUE. THERE ARE GENUINELY NEW THINGS
ABOUT THE ELECTION, BUT PEOPLE SAY, OH, WE’VE NEVER SEEN THIS
BEFORE — LIKE THE RHETORIC NAME CALLING IS SO MUCH WORSE. BUT IN THE ELECTION WHERE
JEFFERSON WROTE AGAINST JOHN ADAMS. JEFFERSON HIRED A NEWSPAPER
EDITOR TO WRITE INCREDIBLE SLANDER ABOUT ADAMS IN THE
PRESS, THAT HE WAS HORRIBLE THINGS. AND EVERYONE SAID WHEN TRUMP
BRAGGED ABOUT THE SIZE OF HIS PENIS, THAT WAS — OH, WE CAN’T
BELIEVE HE DID THAT, BUT L.B.J., LINDENL.B.J. — LYNDON B. JOHNSO
BRAGHTD ABOUT THE SIZE OF HIS PENIS.>>Stephen: BUT IN PRIVATE. NO, THERE IS A VERY FAMOUS
STORY WHERE HE PULLED OUT HIS PENIS IN FRONT OF REPORTERS WHEN
ASKED WHY THEY WERE INVADING VIETNAM AND HE SAID THIS IS WHY. HE WOULD WHIP IT OUT IN FRONT OF
CONGRESS PEOPLE IN THE CAPITAL BATHROOM AND SAY, HAVE YOU EVER
SEEN ANYTHING AS BIG AS THIS?>>Stephen: BECAUSE HE’S FROM
TEXAS.>>EXACTLY. ( LAUGHTER )
YOU KNOW, SO WE CAN FIND THOSE POINTS OF COMPARISON AND THAT
CAN HOPEFULLY RELIEVE OUR ANXIETY ABOUT THE ELECTION
BECAUSE EVERYONE IS SO UPSET.>>Stephen: RUIN ORANGE JUICE. EVEN ORANGE JUICE THAT SAYS
100% IS ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED.>>Stephen: MOUTHWASH. LISTERINE WAS INITIALLY SOLD
AS A FLOOR CLEANER, LIST RINE INVENTED THE TERM “HALITOSIS” IN
THE 30s TO SELL IT AS A MOUTHWASH.>>Stephen: TOM HANKS. OH, YOU CAN’T RUIN HIM. H HE’S PERFECT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>>STEPHEN: THE “ADAM RUINS
EVERYTHING, ELECTION SPECIAL” IS ON TRUTV TOMORROW NIGHT AT
10:00. ADAM CONOVER, EVERYBODY! WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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