75 Things That Will Restore Your Faith In The Internet | Try Guys Live!
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75 Things That Will Restore Your Faith In The Internet | Try Guys Live!


[Applause], [News music] Good evening VidCon and welcome to the closing night finale performance. I’m Cameo McCamerson In world news tonight as usual things appear to be insurmountably terrible, especially online. What was once a delightful digital paradise, bringing people of all backgrounds together has now descended into a perpetual dumpster fire, tearing us all apart. Well let’s discuss this further with Ned Fulmer who’s here to show us the top 75 things that will restore your faith in the internet. Mr. Fulmer joins us as the assistant professor in the department of boops at Doge National University. Nice to have you with us. Wow. Much fighting. Such Angry. So scare. Many harbingers of things to come? No I would argue that this is a triumph of democracy, scandals happen all the time the question is how do democracies respond to those scandals? What would it mean for the wider regions of the um– I’m, I’m sorry. It seems as though one of your, your children just walked in. For the shifting sands of the internet. Will relations between users change? I would be surprised if they do. Uh, pardon me… uh, pardon me. Umm… My apologies. My apologies, um… Mr. Fulmer, what is going to happen to the internet? The internet will survive. It’ll be better than ever before– *sighs* The only thing they have to remember is everything we love about the internet. EUGENE: Damn it help me with your children! NED: I’m in the middle of a frickin interview! For VidCon! [Dial-up internet sounds] [Music plays] Oh, you don’t believe in the internet anymore. You must be new here. ♫ Come with me, and you’ll be in a World Wide Web of your creation. ♫ PIRATE: Are ya ready kids? KIDS: Aye aye, captan! P: I can’t hear you! C: Aye aye captain! P: Ohhhhhhh! ♫ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Squarepants! ♫ ♫ Absorbent and yellow and porous as he? Spongebob Squarepants! ♫ Ohhhh [remix of Spongebob theme plays] [Music] Shut up and take my money. I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. Shut up and take my money! I don’t want to live on this planet any– All glory to the hypnotoad. [Anaconda plays] Ermahgerd look at her books, ermahgerd look at these books! [Music plays] ♫ I got a big fat ass! ♫ [Space Jam Theme plays] ♫ Everybody get up it’s time to slam now ♫ ♫ We got a real jam goin’ down welcome to the space jam (space jam) ♫ ♫ Here’s your chance do your dance at the space jam Alright! ♫ [Music] [Swish Swish plays] ♫ They know what is but they don’t know what is what ♫ ♫ They just strut ♫ ♫ Swish swish, bish. Another one in the basket ♫ Japan is a island by the sea filled with volcanoes. And it’s beautiful! So now there are people on the island, they are basically sorta hanging out in between the mountains eating nuts off trees and using the latest technology. [Pokemon music] N: Team Valor! K: Team Mystic! Z: Look at all the f***s I give! Who wants a pidgey? We got pidgeys! Tons and tons of pidgeys! [More Pokemon music] Is this a pigeon? [Music] [Japanese speaking] [Music] 3……..2………1 Z: Woah.. Ahh! Ahh! Woah…. woah! AHH! [Music] [Japanese singing] *Yatta by Dance*Man & The Bandman plays* All: Thank you! [Audience cheering] [Gangnam Style plays] I believe in the internet because it’s funny. Cause whenever I’m feeling down, whenever I need a smile, there’s the perfect video, gif, or meme that feels designed just for me to make me laugh. [Music] ♫ It’s gonna take a lot to take me away from you ♫ ♫ There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do ♫ ♫ I bless the rains down in Africa– ♫ Ah! K: Oh, oh shit! Z: (screaming) Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation. Okay HQties, its Q-12. The final round. It all boils down to this. How did Zach end up in this situation? Is it because he’s forever alone, bitch please, or FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU? Dude, get off your phone that game is a waste of time. Is it? Well guess how much I just won. Tree fitty. [Music] ♫ G.I. Joe ♫ Porkchop sandwiches! Oh shit oh f*** what are you kids doing here?! Who- get the f*** out of here you stupid idiot! God that smells good. Previously, on X-men. I don’t give a shit, I’m the Juggernaut, bitch! Z: Dude, you slapped a fish. You punched it. Why would you hit it? K: I wanted to make some seafood. [I Knew You Were Trouble plays] Z: That’s so… loserly. N: Dan and Phil! They looked at each other. Phil’s lower lip trembled. Z: … what is next to me. And then I realized that the blame is on me. Quivering Dan replied! K: I knew you were trouble when you walked in. K: Shame on me now. Z: Flew me to places that I’d never been N: Yes, yes, yes, yes! K+Z: (screaming) [Music] N: ♫ And I said, Hey yeah yeah yeah yeah! Hey yeah yeah! I said hey! ♫ ♫ What’s going on! ♫ [Music] [Big Enough plays], Z+K: (screaming/singing) [Audience cheering] [Music] Z: We’d like to slow things down for just a few minutes and remember those on Vine we so tragically lost a year and a half ago. Hi, I’m sorry I didn’t see you there. I was too busy mmmm blockin’ out the haters. [Take On Me plays] Look at all those chickens! (singing) Look at this graph! What the f*** is up Kyle? No, what’d you say dude? What the f*** dude? Step the f*** up Kyle! I got one question for you. WHAT ARE THOOOOSE? They are my crocs. ♫ Why the f*** you lyin’? Why you always lyin’? ♫ ♫ Mmm oh my God, stop f***in’ lyin’! ♫ K: Do it for the vine! E: I ain’t gonna do it. K: Do it for the vine! E: I ain’t gonna do it. K: Do it for the vine! E: I ain’t gonna do it. K: Do it for the vine! E: *roars* K: (screams) [Music] E: I believe in the internet because things don’t have to be funny to be inspiring. I love the creepy, the bizarre, the surreal. Charlie! We’re going to Candy Mountain! Come with us Charlie. UNICORN: Yeah Charlie! E: You guys U: It’ll be an adventure! E: You do realize there’s no such thing as Candy Mountain, right? Shun the non-believer! Shuuuuun… E: Shun me all you want, but I have faith in the fantastically freaky, and if you don’t like what you’re about to see, then you’re not thinking creatively. [The Sound of Silence plays] ♫ Hello darkness, my old friend ♫ ♫ I’ve come to talk with you again ♫ What’s your favourite idea? Mine is being creative. Z: How do you get those ideas? I just try to think creatively. Come on guys, let’s get creative! [We Are Number One plays] All: ♫ We are number one! Hey! ♫ [Darude Sandstorm plays] Z: Hey, what’s the name of this song? [Music] K: (screaming) [Black Beatles plays] ♫ That girl is a real crowd pleaser ♫ ♫ Small world all her friends know me ♫ [Music] E: (whispering) This is our ASMR moment. Everyone stop cheering. Z: And I see Keith is about to bite into a delicious crunchy vegetable. I just love the fresh snap of a cucumber. (crunches) Z: Yummy. E: What a beautiful crowd. JOHN CENA! [John Cena intro plays] [Shape of You plays] Now what I love most about the internet is that the internet is sexy and on the internet we can all be sexy! You’re sexy, you’re sexy, I’m sexy, even the food is sexy! Hi everyone! It’s me, the average beauty, and today I’ll be showing you my ultimate ten second going out makeup routine! First I start off with liquid foundation. Even though it’s liquid, it’s kind of a solid… choice. I’m crazy. Karma’s a bitch. [Music] K: Ready for a night on the town. Hey guys, it’s NeDIY and today we’re going to be making homemade slime! Yeeeess! The best, most beautiful homemade slime! What we’re gonna need is a whole bunch of glue… Now you can find this at– Z: Hey babe! Do I look good in black and blue? N: White and gold really aren’t your colours. Oh, oh well. Well thanks Laurel! Don’t you call me Yanny! Z: (screams) Hello? I’m right here! Sorry, well I thought I saw Keith, but he got hot! Do you think one day we’ll longbottom too? Of course, and I’ll be like hey girl, I got something real important to give you. So sit down and listen. [My dick in a box plays] ♫ It’s my dick in a box ♫ ♫ My dick in a box, babe ♫ ♫ It’s my dick in a box ♫ ♫ My dick in a box girl ♫ [Harder, better, faster, stronger plays] K: I got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell! [Music] [Despacito plays] ♫ Aye, despacito ♫ ♫ Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito ♫ ♫ Deja que te diga cosas al oído ♫ ♫ Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo ♫ ♫ Despacito ♫ K: The thirst is real. Z: Give it to me, daddy. [DNA plays] [Ddu-du Ddu-du plays] [Baby plays] I believe in the internet because the internet is a place where you can share what you love most with the people you care about most. You can speak at a universal language together, and that language is love. I just had a baby My child, there he is, and I want my son to grow up in a place a world where we don’t spread hate, we spread love. A: Hi! Z+K+E: (gasps) Awwwww. N: Where’s my dog? Oh, there he is! Yes, yes. Z+K+E: (crying uncontrollably) [happy music] ♫ I dreamed a dream in times gone by ♫ ♫ When hope was high and life worth living ♫ ♫ I dreamed that love would never die ♫ ♫ I dreamed that God would be forgiving ♫ ♫ One two three, one two three drink! ♫ ♫ One two three, one two three drink! ♫ ♫ One two three, one two three drink! ♫ ♫ Throw ’em back, till I lose count ♫ ♫ I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier! ♫ ♫ I’m gonna live like tomorrow doesn’t exist, like it doesn’t exist! ♫ ♫ I’m gonna fly, like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry ♫ N: Just do it! N: Yesterday, you said tomorrow! SO DO IT!! JUST DO IT!!! ♫ Will you join in our crusade? Who will be strong and stand with me? ♫ ♫ Beyond the barricade, is there a world you long to see? ♫ ♫ Then join in the fight that will give you the right to be free! ♫ ALL: ♫ Do you hear the people sing? Say, do you hear the distant drums? ♫ ♫ It is the future that they bring when tomorrow comes. ♫ ♫ Ahhhhhh, Ahhhhhhh, Ahhhhhhh, When tomorrow comes! ♫ [Audience cheering] ♫ Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me ♫ ♫ I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed. ♫ ♫ She was lookin’ kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb ♫ ♫ in the shape of an ‘L’ on her forehead. ♫ ♫ Well the years start coming and they don’t stop coming ♫ ♫ Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running ♫ ♫ Didn’t make sense not to live for fun ♫ ♫ Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb ♫ ♫ So much to do, so much to see so what’s wrong with taking the back streets? ♫ ♫ You’ll never know if you don’t go. You’ll never shine if you don’t glow ♫ ♫ Hey now! You’re an all-star, get your game on, go play! ♫ [Nyan cat begins to play] ♫ Hey now! you’re a rock star, get the show on, get paid ♫ ♫ And all that glitters is gold. Only shooting stars break the mold ♫ K: And the number one thing that restores are faith in the internet… It’s you! [Audience cheering] [Outro music] [coolest baby in the world appears]

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