2013 NPH Emmys Skit “Excessive Hosting Disorder”
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2013 NPH Emmys Skit “Excessive Hosting Disorder”


>>IT CAN AFFECT ANYONE.>>EVEN YOUR CLOSEST FRIEND. HEY, NEIL, CAN YOU COME OUT HERE FOR A MINUTE.>>FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT. ♪ WHAT’S GOING JOSH I’M READY TO ROCK ♪ I GOT SOME DANCEERCE I’LL SHW YOU SOME– COME ON, WHERE’S MY TOP HAT.>>EHD AFFECTS MILLIONS OF PEOPLE. OKAY, NOT THAT MANY. OKAY, FINE, JUST NEIL.>>THE SYMPTOMS OF EHD APPEAR IN A HOST OF WAYS.>>NICE.>>THANK YOU.>>HEY, DID YOU GUYS KNOW TODAY IS ARBOR DAY.>>OH, GOD, NOT AGAIN!>>AND THE FOUR NOMINEES FOR BARNEY’S ARBOR DAY BANG ARE JENNY ELM. LAURA MAPLE. PENNY “I HOPE I GET MORE THAN JUST PALM.” AND WENDY THE WEEPING WILLOW, WHEEZE REALLY LAST NAME IS FINKELMAN, BUT SHE’S PRONE TO CRYING JAGS. AND THE WINNER IS– IT’S A THREE-WAY. TIE. SORRY, WENDY AND PENNY, THERE’S ALWAYS FLAG DAY. WHAT.>>LET’S TAKE ANOTHER FIVE, EVERYBODY.>>FOR MY BIRTHDAY, NEIL GAVE ME A GIFT BAG FROM THE 2009 TONYS. AGAIN. BUT THE ROCK OF AGES SLIPPERS ARE ACTUALLY PRETTY COMFY.>>LAST WEEK, I WALKED IN ON NEIL AND CAUGHT HIM NAKED. HOSTING HIMSELF. LATER, I FOUND OUT THE SICK BASTARD TEXTED PICTURES OF HIS MICROPHONE TO COMPLETE STRNGS.>>QUICK, QUICK, SOMEONE SET THIS HULA HOOP ON FIRE WHILE I PUT ON THESE SKATES! SKATES! WAIT. WHAT’S THE INTERVENTION FOR?>>YOU, MY FRIEND.>>WHAT?>>NEIL, I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH. THE SHAKES, THE COLD SWETS, TELLING YOUR FAMILY YOU’RE GOING OUT DRINKING WHEN REALLY YOU’RE GOING TO HOST A BAKE SALE AT A CHURCH. YOU DON’T BELIEVE THIS, BUT YOU CAN HAVE A RICH AND FULFILL LIFE WITHOUT HOSTING.>>BUT YOU STARTED HOSTING YOUR OWN SHOW EVERY NIGHT.>>THIS AIN’T ABOUT ME.>>IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE SUFFERS FROM EHD.>>THERE IS HOME.>>AT THE RYAN SEACREST CENTER FOR EXCESSIVE HOSTING IN MALIBU, CALIFORNIA.>>YOU GUYS, NO, NO, NO– HEY, LOOK, HEY LOOK, ONE BIG SHOT. I GET A BIG SHOT. GET IT? PLEASE I WANT TO HOST THE OSCARS!>>YOU KNOW, NOW THEY’RE GOING TO NEED SOMEBODY TO HOST THE EMMYS, AND I HAVE MY OWN TUX. IT’S FROM 1992, WITH BIG

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